Happy Valentine’s Day, Hump Day readers!
Okay, okay, so Valentine’s Day was yesterday. But for those of you who wait until the roses and chocolates go on sale, here are some Qs & As to help make your celebration hot and steamy. And for those of you observing Singles Awareness Day, clip this out and keep it on file for the future – Hump Day’s about to get all romantic on your ass!
I want Valentine’s Day weekend to be special for me and my boo, but I’m not about to drop a lot of coin for one day. What are some cheap dates in Madison?
Play (or learn to play) pool together. The billiard tables at Memorial Union are $1 per game, as opposed to the ones at Union South that are $7 per hour in the evening. You can also catch a flick at the Marquee Circle for free. Just check the WUD Film schedule online for show times.
Thursday night is student night at the Comedy Club on State Street: just $2 if you bring your student ID.
Spend an afternoon at Henry Vilas Zoo. It is free and open all year round. If you are into nature, explore the University of Wisconsin Arboretum together.
Go ice skating at the Shell – $3 for skating, $2 to rent skates.
Try restaurant hopping – pick out some cool cafes that you have wanted to try and just order an appetizer or dessert at each to share.
Search for or order a used copy of “The Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, the original or “Love & Sex” version. Spend an evening over wine or tea, taking turns turning pages and getting to know each other.
Visit the new extension of the Chazen Museum of Art, do a one-day service project together through the Morgridge Center or, if you like playing with kids, volunteer through the Campus Women’s Center Kids Time evening that happens once a month.
Take up the Badger Ballroom Dancing Team on one of their free lessons and learn how to tango or salsa.
Shop at the farmers market – it still goes on in the winter, indoors, at 330 W. Mifflin St.
If you have a camera, take a walking photo tour of the city of Madison; pick your favorites, print at Walgreens and find eclectic frames at St. Vinny’s.
If it is warm enough, make a campfire at Picnic Point.
Rent a fairy tale from the library and read to each other. Hans Christian Andersen is my personal favorite.
I would really love to give my partner a back massage. The problem is I have no idea what I’m doing. Help!
Purchase a small bottle of cheap body oil or, better yet, just use some olive oil from the kitchen cabinet. It works in the same way. Start with broad, open-palm, sweeping motions all over the back. This is called effleurage. Fancy, right? Next, align the heel of your hands at the base of the back closely along either side of the midline with fingers pointing towards the neck. While avoiding the spine, put your weight onto the heels and slide them upwards in a steady, parallel motion. Then when you get to the shoulders, kneed the fleshy parts between the neck and shoulder bones with your fingers like dough. Repeat!
Climaxing at the same time: just for the movies, or possible in real life?
Tricky, but you can totally make it happen! Obviously, it is all about timing, so becoming familiar with the sexual response cycle and the physical cues that your partner has transitioned from one level to another is key. What noises do they make when they get close to coming? What color do their goody bits turn? Give these moves a try: for two female bodies, I am a fan of using the Heartthrob vibrator at A Woman’s Touch. It is slender enough to slide in between and up and down two sets of lady folds while your bodies are lying snug. For two people with penises, you can both get off in missionary by having one person penetrate (if you both enjoy penetration) while jerking off the receptive partner.
And now for the trickiest – opposite sex partners. You can both build up to orgasm in missionary by alternating between rubbing the head of the penis on the head of the clit and sliding into each other. Let the clit-owner take control of the cock by grabbing it and rubbing the clitoris back and forth between the frenulum ridge. Once she gets very close to coming, she should switch to manually rubbing herself and let him pile-drive away. The back wall of the vagina will balloon up, making the walls of the canal even tighter, and the pulsating muscles of her orgasm should squeeze the cock into coming. Voila!
If you could pick just one sex tip, what would it be?
Enthusiasm, hands down. Sucking, licking, bumping and grinding like you mean it makes all the difference in the world. Laughing, smiling, complimenting and making eye contact can turn regular ol’ sex into birthday-sex-every-day kind of sex. Take a tip from mindfulness-based gurus and counselors: Be present in the moment. Actively process and appreciate what you are doing as you are doing it. You will fall in love with your partner’s body all over again.
Send Sam and Amie your questions and comments at [email protected].
