Hey there, Hump Day readers! Before we get to your questions for this week, here are the winning sexy ways to ask for consent, as promised:

“I’ll trade you your consent for my cock.”

“Hey, nice shoes; wanna fuck”? 

“I’m already lost in your eyes; can I get lost in your body”?

Good job, everyone! Creative, hilarious and hot!

How do I initiate dirty talk without being awkward?

First things first: Brainstorm some not-so-technical terms for the body parts and actions you want to talk about. Somehow “ohh yeahh fuck me with that hard cock!” sounds way better than “penetrate me with your rather firm penis.” Easy, right?

The second step is even easier. Simply describe what is happening or what you’d like to happen. My colleague and dear friend Taylor Ludwig suggests tapping into your five senses for this one. Describe what you see, hear, feel, taste and smell. If you love the way your partner’s breasts look bouncing up and down or how their arm muscles pop out when they’re thrusting, tell them! If their pussy, mouth or butthole feels tight and wet, compliment them on it. Shout it out if you love the sound of having an ass smacked.

Just be careful, because some people can feel objectified by statements such as these. You might want to ask them beforehand what their thoughts on dirty talk are. If getting this graphic turns off you or your partner, just make it a bit more PC. Tell your partner how beautiful they are or how much you love pleasuring them.

Of course saying all this with some direct eye contact, a coy smile, or this-is-so-hot-I-can’t-catch-my-breath voice helps to contribute to the visual and audio stimulation.

And there’s really no need to get too detailed, either. Just a few words said in a low, sultry voice can instantly turn your partner on. Throw in a couple, “ohh yeahhs” and “oooh that feels so good,” or say your partner’s name when they do something good. It’s all about positive reinforcement.

I got a pair of fuzzy handcuffs for Christmas. What do I do with them without being too weird/kinky?

If the idea of using them really weirds you out, don’t use them. You can even leave them hanging off the bed post or lying on the floor without ever touching them. Sometimes just the idea of doing something can be a mega turn on, even if we would never want to actually engage in something ourselves. For example, some people love jerking it to bukkake or gagging porn but would never actually want to do it. And that’s just fine.

But if you are feeling a little kinky, just incorporate them into whatever you normally like to do when you get down. Do you like missionary? Put the person on bottom in the cuffs with their arms above their head. Is doggy style your go-to? Handcuff the insertive partner’s hands behind their back and have the bent over one do the thrusting. The act of simply being restrained and being tantalized by the fact that you can’t reach out and grab that booty, no matter how badly you want to, can be so deliciously tempting.

You can also mix it up by strapping the handcuffs to some ankles instead of wrists. The partner who is doing the penetrating can grab on them and use them as leverage to move the other person’s legs around.

Lastly, if you do want to get a bit kinkier, have one person face fuck or hover over the face of the person who is handcuffed. Make the restrained person work for it by moving just a few inches out of their reach every once and a while. Looking down and watching them twist and squirm with an open mouth aimed at your goodie bits can be extra nice.

Do you have any tips for maintaining a long-distance relationships? This winter break is going to be make-or-break for mine.

Although it’s not exactly spontaneous, regular Skype or phone dates are pretty important for people in long-distance relationships. Without this pre-planned time set aside to dedicate to each other, life can get in the way.

Swap schedules. If Tuesdays are especially packed for you, let them know to not be expecting calls that day. Likewise, talk about when heavy exams and papers are. That way you’ll know when the other person needs a bit of extra space without them having to tell you. It’s also a sweet gesture to send them a thoughtful “good luck on your exam, babe” text right beforehand. Little things like this can mean a lot for partners who are geographically separated.

My last piece of advice is to just tell them about your day. Even the not-so-exciting things. What did you do for lunch today? Who did you study with? By freely offering up information like this without your partner having to pry, it creates an atmosphere of transparency and trustworthiness.

Are there any particular positions outside of the norm that you would suggest?

Froggy style. It’s wonderful variation on basic positions for some extra deep penetration. There’s two ways you can do it. Either do it doggy style, but instead of kneeling or standing, the insertive partner should bend their knees like they’re about to do some squats and hover a bit behind and above the receptive partner. Or try receptive partner on top, but instead of grounding with their knees, the receptive partner should plant their feet and use their thigh muscles to bounce up down. Arch the back and reach for your partner’s shins or feet to give them a wonderful view of the show.

Stay sexy and safe over winter break and remember to send Amie and Sam your sex questions at [email protected].