Though we shouldn’t minimize the tragedy inherent to the suicides of the past few months, I am growing increasingly concerned with the LGBT community’s responses to the issues surrounding these deaths.

Without turning the departed into victims or martyrs (whose memory will probably fade from the public spotlight along with our purple Facebook profile pictures), these deaths are a wakeup call. In short, the LGBT community must seriously reconsider its relationship to the less privileged among us and the material circumstances that generally make life very difficult for a good number within our community, including people of color, the mentally ill, rural residents, the homeless, women, trans and gender-queer people, the elderly, and most especially, as the past few months highlighted, our youth.

Homophobia and bullying did not kill these teens. Rather, teens acting on negative feelings caused their own deaths. It is crucial to see the element of personal choice within the context of suicide. That being said, the choice for an LGBT teen to kill him or herself does not let us off the hook by any stretch of the imagination. By choosing to end their own lives, these teens sent the message that they, for whatever reasons, found death preferable to their painful or isolated circumstances. However, these are implicitly communal issues that implicate all of us. Their choices were not made in a vacuum.

While the choice to take one’s life ultimately rests with the individual, youth are certainly less likely to arrive at this painful decision when they are able to recognize and exercise their own power. Making that happen is our job, our responsibility, our obligation. These individuals were not destined to die, nor should we have allowed them to.

It’s time for a communal response that takes place beyond our computer screens, status updates, or referrals to the Trevor project. Rather than (electronically) consoling LGBT teens that “it will get better” via YouTube, we need to collectively provide the tools and social support to empower our young to make their own lives better.

Such efforts may take a variety of forms, ranging from acting as mentors for youth in our communities, to volunteering at HIV counseling centers. On a larger scale, we could be making use of GLSEN’s (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) anti-bullying materials by running workshops in local high-school and college campuses. And while there is certainly great importance to lobbying on Capitol Hill for protections against hate crimes or writing checks to non-profits like HRC, this all too often prevents us from connecting to the constituents we are attempting to serve. Human connection is what’s important in times such as these.

All LGBT people have the capacity for agency, but in order to make that happen, it will take the presence of a compassionate hand. It’s time to make a change.

Bennet Goldstein ([email protected]) is a graduate student in history of science.