[media-credit name=’JEFF SCHORFHEIDE/Herald file photo’ align=’alignright’ width=’336′][/media-credit]

Hatfields and McCoys, Bloods and Crips, Rosie O’Donnell and The Donald (really all men for that matter) — all are iconic rivalries part of the American fabric.

The mere mention of one in the presence of the other is sure to incite aggression and virulent anger. But while they historically have dominated feud-related headlines, another tiff has been brewing for nearly 40 years right here in Madison.

The Badger Herald and The Daily Cardinal — respectively the titans and Tinkerbells of typeset on this campus — go at it every day in print. Tomorrow in Vilas Park, the two sides will meet on the gridiron for their annual game.

“My friends, nothing against anyone on their side, but have you ever walked past that wing of Vilas Hall? Heavens, it smells,” BH Editor in Chief Tom Schalmo said. “No wonder why they put out such a stinky publication.”

But on this day, newsprint takes a momentary back seat.

The Herald could be slightly shorthanded. Last year’s game MVP, Nick Penzenstadler, has been limited in practice with what Herald Belichick-disciple Schalmo cryptically described as an “upper body situation.” Penzenstadler, who caught the game-winning point after touchdown as time expired last year, is officially listed as doubtful. The Herald is otherwise fairly healthy, but Associate Sports Editor Jonah Braun (hangover), City Editor Becky Vevea (mud wrestler’s rash) and News Content Editor Beth Mueller (carrot addiction) are all probable. Business Manager Justin Dahnert (paper cut) will play.

Just a year ago, the Herald stunned the Cardinal with a last-minute touchdown drive to steal a come-from-behind win in a thrilling 35-34 shootout. Orchestrating the drive was then-Sports Editor Ben Voelkel, who will be back behind center for a second game.

Voelkel, now a sports columnist, is excited for the challenge.

“We’ve got a good team; we’re just hoping to go 1-0 and give this campus some winning Badgers,” Voelkel said.

Voelkel will have plenty of weapons to throw to, highlighted by Sports Content Editor Derek Zetlin and Deputy Design Director Lee Dix.

On defense for the BH, Ken “Papa Bear” Harris will pressure the quarterback into poor throws, as the ball flies into the waiting arms of Herald defensive backs.

“We’ve just got more skills, plain and simple,” a bare, hairy-chested Harris said between drags of his Marlboro and pulls of Jack. “We’re too much man for them to handle. The Dirty Bird doesn’t stand a chance.”

Multiple attempts to reach Daily Cardinal Editor in Chief Alex Morrell for comment this week went unanswered. Apparently he was having just as hard a time as his readers trying to decipher sports editor Crystal Crowns’ latest attempt at a column.

Cardinal Page Two columnist Ashley Spencer was more than happy to offer her two cents on the game.

“Like, OMG. Did I tell you I lost my big toe? For reals! So my friends and I, there’s this boy, and he is suuuuuuuper cuute! Like if Seth Cohen and the Bachelor had a boy, this guy would be cuter than that! LOL, that’s not actually possible.

“What’s football? Oh, yeah, the guys with the tight pants and cute butts!”

If Spencer’s focused intensity is any sign, the Herald should have no problem winning its second game in a row.