Mark Zuckerberg, the only man who knows the true meaning of the words “home page,” posted a photo of himself eating a brat and cheese curds at State Street Brats. What was he doing here? In this strange land? Well, here are a few of my verified theories:
https://www.facebook.com/zuck/posts/10103689333847191
1. Pokemon Go lead him here
That tech nerd is probably the only one still playing that game. He probably wandered all the way off the Facebook campus looking for a Charizard … or a Machamp.
2. He came to laugh at all the losers who didn’t drop out of college like him
Dropping out of college is all that crazy kook talks about, so he’s probably just here to gloat. Well, asshole, enjoy it while it lasts, because some day, we’ll be your boss!
3. He’s training for the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Clearly training with brats so the actual competition is even easier, Zuckerberg is probably one of the few people on the planet who can afford an authentic hot dog coach from Wisconsin. He knows someone needs to dethrone Joey Chestnut.
4. Facebook is setting up a new office in the Capitol
As “what’s cool” trends basically change daily now, the hippest spot in town is clearly now the most granduer. Staying hip in the spotlight again, Zuckerberg is probably deciding on setting up the beach volleyball court in the middle of the floor.
5. He’s looking for the guy with the profile picture of a skull next to a motorcycle that got into a political argument with him under an MSNBC post
Nobody takes Facebook arguments more seriously than the guy who invented Facebook. Clearly liberal, Zuckerberg must’ve felt the need to defend his right to free speech when that crazy man from Wisconsin was commenting nasty things under it. Well, Zuckerberg is here to show him that Facebook is no place to say mean things to strangers.
6. He’s Banksy
Clearly.
7. He’s running for president of the internet
In an attempt to replace the incumbent Sergey Brin, Zuckerberg is ready to have his name be Mr. President Mark Zuckerberg.
8. Sean Parker from Napster is hiding out as Bucky
Yeah, so the guy who I’m pretty sure stole a lot of money or screwed Zuckerberg’s friends out of money (idk it’s what I got from that movie) is hiding out here in Madison. In a Scooby Doo-like scandal, Bucky’s true identity as Sean Parker will be revealed.
9. This is a robot Zuckerberg
There’s no way the real Zuckerberg would show up here in Wisconsin — there’s too much real paper. The real Zuck probably sent out one of his robot minions to serve the public a jolly fooling by interacting with the commoners in the state of Wisconsin.
10. He’s on a mission to personally meet every Facebook user
A man who loves his people, Zuckerberg has left Palo Alto in an attempt to be the best CEO he can be. He wants to hear from you, the user, what it is you like or dislike about Facebook. He is determined to not rest until he meets every single Facebook user.
