Demand for the delectable dairy dessert rises along with the temperature, making the coming months prime ice cream season. Badgers have begun flocking to the Babcock Dairy Plant, desperate to get their hands on a scoop of the terrific cold treat. But flavors like Blue Moon, Union Utopia and Peach Melba can only go so far.
For the sake of variety, we’ve brainstormed this list of new flavors we’d like to see introduced in the Babcock rotation.
Brew Moon — Scoop of Blue Moon served with a 24-pack of Coors Light.
Lego Surprise — Vanilla custard with small Lego bricks mixed in.
Zinc — A fresh take on the beloved transition metal.
Strawberry or Pepto-Bismol? — Customers will be giddy with anticipation of receiving either a mouthful of creamy fruit flavor or diarrhea medicine.
Grape Burnett’s — No alcohol here! Just the delicious taste of bottom-shelf grape vodka that students know and love.
Bucky’s Shame — Ranch flavored ice cream with a wasabi ripple and clumps of hair.
Terrace Special — A delectable sundae that you will receive three years after purchase, subject to further delays.
Curd Rock From the Sun — Vanilla ice cream blended with Wisconsin cheese curds and gravel.
Denim De-Lite — Chocolate ice cream with a fudge ripple and scraps of American-made denim mixed throughout.
Tunnel Bob’s Blizzard — Mint ice cream with flakes of asbestos harvested fresh from the subterranean steam tunnels.
Lick Mendota — Made with unfiltered lake water, caramel ripple and chewy bits of seasonal invasive species.
Affair Trade — Coffee ice cream served in a commemorative Bo Ryan dish.
Union Dystopia — Ketchup-flavored ice cream with gumballs and acorns.
