Whether you’re preparing for an upcoming game day or redecorating your parlor, there’s no bad time to beef up your personal arsenal of Badgers gear and memorabilia.
The problem is, buying this festive collegiate merchandise is as fiscally draining as it is rewarding. Between books, tuition and posters of talented actor William H. Macy, few students have money left over for such extravagant expenses.
Cue eBay, premiere online marketplace and go-to for the hottest deals on the web. For the financial convenience of all of our bargain-minded readers, The Badger Herald presents a brief guide for the best Wisconsin gear available on eBay:
Spend more on this pet bed than you’ve ever given to charity, and ensure your pet is more humiliated by you than ever! Having this plush replica of our beloved Camp Randall in your home is a playful way of saying, “My life has lost direction.”
2. Wisconsin Badgers fire/football helmet
Lovingly crafted and completely unique, this handmade custom helmet will distinguish you both in the stands of Camp Randall as well as in the halls of Valhalla! Pair with chain mail and a longsword for best effect.
3. Four-pack of Bucky Badger bath loofahs
There’s no better way of expressing your love for your alma mater than by jamming Bucky’s wet, lifeless face into your putrid bodily crevices. On Wisconsin!
4. Vintage 1970 “Wanted” poster for Leo Burt
Give your apartment’s living room a little throwback Thursday appeal with this poster depicting Leo Burt, one of the men responsible for the 1970 bombing of Sterling Hall. A great conversation starter!
5. Vintage 1950s football helmet
A bygone relic of former gridiron pugilists, this aged football helmet is an authentic and engaging centerpiece and perfect for any enthusiast of Badger athletics. Probably comes with vintage smells!
6. ‘Wisconsin Badgers Endzone’ off-brand Lego set
If there’s one thing children love more than obscure, dubious Lego knockoffs, it’s inferior off-shoots depicting very mediocre scenes. Become the nightmare of your holiday gift exchange by throwing this plastic crime into the mix.
More commonly referred to as the 1905 Annual Yearbook, The Book of Dead Badgers is a somber ledger documenting some of the thousands of alumni whose bones have since turned to dust. A great addition to the bookshelf and a persistent reminder that time is unceasing and unmerciful.
