Have you ever been walking to class and that familiar sensation hits? That feeling of needing to relieve yourself in the imminent future? There’s always a dilemma when this situation hits. Where to go?
The answer seems simple. One might respond, “To the closest bathroom, obviously!” However, our campus has a multitude of options for conducting your business. In fact, each building has a multitude of options.
As I’m sure every Badger knows, our bathrooms vary in quality. They range from awful to average to awesome. Well, I went to find the highest-quality relief stations that our campus has to offer, and there are indeed some hidden gems.
Let’s start off by mentioning the bad. You definitely do not want to visit those quasi-dungeons they call bathrooms in certain buildings. (I’m looking at you, Van Vleck.) No one wants their experience marred by an appearance from Shelob dancing around in the corner in a nest of webs. It’s also disconcerting when vulgarities are written on the wall next to you. They ruin your focus. Speaking of which, who has the time and energy (and the foresight to bring a pen into a stall) to leave their mark on public facilities? Also, you never want full eye contact with your neighbor when you stand up or are conducting your business. The bathroom is not a social gathering place, and the height of the stall walls should afford some privacy. Also, some of those gaps between stall doors and stall walls allow for complete viewing pleasure to the general public.
Prime examples of buildings with bathrooms that should be avoided at all costs include Van Vleck, Van Hise and College Library. Note: only use in emergencies!
The average bathrooms on campus are prevalent and easy to spot. Just to head to a newly built or recently renovated building, and you have a clean, efficient and smooth experience on your hands. These bathrooms usually have Xcelerator or Dyson Airblade hand dryers or enMotion paper towel dispensers. The sinks are often automatic and have conveniently-located soap dispensers. Stalls and urinals, for the guys, afford full privacy and have ample space.
Standouts in this category include the Microbial Sciences Building, the Wisconsin Institutes for Discovery and the Education Building on Bascom Hill.
The Microbial Sciences Building has a large amount of stalls – with a spacious semi-handicapped stall and a full handicapped stall – and a cool modern design with black granite countertops.
The Wisconsin Institutes for Discovery has some particularly interesting sink designs with a modern red, white and silver color scheme. For those familiar with video games, the space has a strong “Mirror’s Edge” or “Portal” vibe.
The Education Building mixes modernity with traditional; think Bascom Hall, but renovated. Modern white walls mesh well with wood to give the bathrooms a clean, understated feeling.
However, there is one flaw that every single bathroom on our campus shares: the toilet paper situation at the University of Wisconsin is horrendous. There’s something wrong when the toilet paper is see-through and feels like industrial-grade sandpaper. Also, it can’t be saving money or be good for the earth since dozens of sheets are needed instead of a couple of sheets of higher-quality toilet paper.
There’s only one place where good toilet paper can be found and that leads us to the best bathrooms on campus.
The best buildings for using the bathroom are hands down Union South and Nancy Nicholas Hall, aka the School of Human Ecology. Union South has modern facilities, a large number of stalls and has the best toilet paper on campus, bar none.
Nancy Nicholas Hall was recently remodeled and opened in June 2012 with a focus on the innovative, modern and sustainable. The building is a joy to tour and look at, especially the new west wing. In this wing, one will find the best bathroom on campus. It earns the title because of its interactivity and modernity.
This bathroom has a nature theme to it, with lights emulating the starry night sky and jungle and rainfall noises playing in the background. There’s a plaque outside the bathroom outlining the conservationist message of the d?cor.
Also, every other bathroom in Nancy Nicholas Hall has a chalkboard wall, complete with eraser and different colors of chalk. These walls are riddled with various potty-humor messages and UW pride slogans. There was even a math problem on the second floor bathroom chalkboard. Due to its interactivity and message, Nancy Nicholas Hall’s first floor bathroom in its new west wing is the best bathroom on campus.
You can stop holding it now.
