Since we’re scraping the bottom of questions in the metaphorical Hump Day barrel, we’re going down a different road this week. So seriously, people, ask us questions at [email protected]. No one will know it’s you, as we’re totally confidential. Now, without further ado:

Murray: Woman, why don’t you be answerin’ any of my pages?

Dionne: I hate when you call me woman!

Murray: Where you been all weekend? You been jeepin’ behind my back?

Dionne: Jeepin’?Jeepin’? No. But, speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this cheap, K-Mart hair extension got into the backseat of your car!

Murray: I don’t know where that came from. That looks like one of your little stringy somethin’ or an others you got in yo hair.

Dionne: I do not wear polyester hair, OK? Unlike some people I know, like Shawana!

I’m sure many of you remember this scene from the 1995 film “Clueless.“ It’s one of my favorite exchanges from one of my all-time favorite movies, and while watching it the other day, it reminded me of a topic I find fascinating ? melodramatic couples. Although it’s depicted for comedy’s sake in “Clueless,” such accusatory dialogue characterizes many real-life relationships.

I’ve always been perplexed by how often seemingly sane people transform into paranoid nutjobs at the first sign of infatuation. While not everyone goes “Fatal Attraction” psycho during the early stages of a relationship, most individuals experience a heightened sense of anxiety. However, what I find most intriguing are those who go bat-shit crazy.

Before I go any further, let’s make something clear ? arguments are completely, 100 percent normal for any couple, especially when sex is involved. It’s only human nature to feel insecure sometimes, and with communication being an essential part of any couple’s success, it’s only logical that conflict would ensue more often than in something like a platonic relationship.

So, why does Dionne throw a fit every time Murray takes a breath without her permission? Why does that girl from “Swimfan” freak out and try to kill Jesse Bradford’s girlfriend? Why does Beyonc? feel so “Crazy in Love”? Let’s find out.

While most people experience anxiety in new relationships, the way an individual reacts to conflict is largely determined by his or her personality. Being in love doesn’t mean you’re going to morph automatically into a psycho-stalker, purely because few people have the capacity to do something like that. This applies to jealousy and bickering, but to a less exclusive degree. While trust issues are often circumstantial, certain people are just more combative than others. However, the vast majority of humans have one thing in common when it comes to temporary relationship insanity ? hormones.

Researchers have studied the neurobiological effects of love for quite some time, and their results have proven astounding. Although emotions like lust, attraction and attachment can affect many different hormones, I’d like to focus on serotonin, testosterone and oxytocin ? mostly for brevity’s sake, but also because they have cool-sounding names.

According to Helen Fisher, author of “Why We Love,” the chemical structure of serotonin during the early stages of romantic love is almost identical to that of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which many researches believe indicates a link between the two conditions. Fisher argues that when people first experience infatuation, the drop in their serotonin levels (about 40 percent lower than usual) often results in obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior, much like the defining characteristics of OCD. While some individuals are undoubtedly better at curtailing these whacked-out tendencies, others aren’t as resistant (or as self-aware).

When I hear the word “testosterone,” the following things come to mind: T-bone steaks, the Green Bay Packers and steroids, but this macho hormone also plays a key role in new relationships. A study by Donatella Marazziti of the University of Pisa examined the difference in love responses according to gender. The findings showed an increase in females’ testosterone levels during the first year of being in a committed, loving relationship. Conversely, Marazziti observed a drop in males’ testosterone levels during the same period of time. A follow-up study observed a return to regular levels for both genders after two years. What this essentially means is, within the first year of dating, men become more sensitive and women become more prone to aggression, which definitely sheds light on concepts like the “whipped” boyfriend and the controlling girlfriend.

Many neuropsychologists refer to oxytocin as “the cuddle hormone,” and while that’s somewhat nauseating, it definitely makes sense. Combined with a hormone called vasopressin, oxytocin is released in response to landmark and routine bonding experiences between couples, including sex. Each time an individual experiences orgasm due to their partner’s direct actions, their brain releases oxytocin and vasopressin, which makes people feel incredibly close to one another. Instances like this create an effect that is strikingly similar to opiates such as morphine, which explains the calm, yet invigorating feeling most people have after orgasm. Because of this effect, many researchers believe these hormones cause partners to feel addicted to one another, thus heightening the emotional magnetism of being in a relationship.

In case those last three paragraphs seemed a little clinical, here’s an overview: Being in love essentially gives you OCD, changes your gender and makes you addicted to another human being. Sounds awesome, right?

OK, that’s overly simplistic, but one thing’s for sure ? romantic love is, and always will be, one of the most complex parts of our world. Likewise, anxiety is natural in any new relationship, and the disagreements that result from it are just as acceptable. Although it can be hard to overcome the hormones that consume you during a heated argument, taking a step back and analyzing the situation objectively will almost always work in your favor. In a world where enduring relationships are increasingly rare, sometimes it’s better to put your ego aside and think about what really matters to you ? and that usually doesn’t involve winning a fight.

This article was written by Rachel Dickens. Rachel is a junior majoring in communication arts. Comments? Questions? E-mail: [email protected].