During high school I was in a few relationships, which in hindsight were mostly glorified flings. However, one day during my senior year of high school my most meaningful relationship ended and I have been single ever since. I remember moving to Madison and seeing couples in the streets and being sad because I felt like I was ugly and unimpressive. The small amount of dates I did go on always made me feel like I wasted my time or they just were outright horrible. It took time, but I have now seen the light. Being single is probably one of the best things happening to me right now, and here’s why you shouldn’t feel bad about flying solo.

First, this is an excellent time to figure out who you really are. Living away from your parents is a big change that still feels fresh years after you leave. After 18 years of being under your parents’ thumb, you’re now alone with a bunch of new people in the same predicament. We’re still young and there’s so much in life we haven’t experienced. I urge you to take this time to try things you may have never seen yourself doing before. This is much more challenging to do if you’re in a relationship. What if your significant other doesn’t want you to try out the Atheist, Humanist, Agnostic club, or go smoke at your best friend’s house for the first time? Being that intimate with someone requires you to cater to their needs and desires, which may not coincide with yours, forcing you to make sacrifices. College is the weird period of time where you have the independence of an adult and the responsibilities of a teenager. Using this time to find yourself will make you a more self confident and whole person ready for a lasting relationship in the future.

You may think you’re missing out on a lot by being single, but in reality you aren’t. After a while I realized that my best friends provided all the support and love that I got from being in a relationship. I naively thought no one would congratulate me when I did a good job on a paper, watch me when I had a sports game or comfort me when I was at my lowest point. However, this is exactly what your best friends are for. They’ll always be there for you, and probably know more about you than the new boy or girl you’re dating. The only thing I remember from my relationships that wasn’t present in my friendships was physical intimacy. Honestly, as millennials and college students, we already know how casual sex can be in today’s world. One night you swipe right on a Tinder profile and a few weeks later you’re in their bed. Many told me that hook-ups wouldn’t be as fulfilling as sex in a relationship, but I found some encounters to be much better.

Lastly, I realized that I just didn’t have the time. Between classes, family, friends, intramurals, student orgs, work and homework, I barely have time to watch a few episodes of Adventure Time, let alone dedicate part of my being to another person. Being in a relationship is more than just having sex and annoying your friends on social media with copious amounts of couples selfies. You are opening up the deepest parts of yourself to that person, and they’re doing the same. Doing that requires a lot of energy, strength and courage, and to be honest, I just don’t have a lot of those things after all the obligations I listed above, and I imagine many of you don’t either.

I am not saying that being in a relationship is a bad thing. If you are perfectly happy in your current relationship, then by all means keep it going and make the most of it. However, if you are single and you’re reading this, I want you to know that it’s okay to be single and proud. You shouldn’t feel pressured into a relationship by what you see in media and on the streets. Especially as a college student, it’s a great thing to be independent because one of the best lessons we can learn at this stage in life is to be able to weather the high and low points of life alone.

Nichalous Pogorelec ([email protected]) is a sophomore studying sociology.