Some people play piano, some watch sports and others even do needlepoint, but I? I read celebrity gossip. Maybe read is an inaccurate word — I obsess over celebrity gossip, I pore over new issues of US Weekly and I examine every page of PerezHilton.com with a fine-toothed comb. Literally, I have yet to find a subject more entertaining than Britney Spears' many screw-ups or a good, hair pulling, bitch-slapping celebrity cat fight. When the split screen rose between Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck during a super-heated argument on "The View," I rejoiced with sheer delight. For me, Paris and Nicole's short-lived separation was an event worthy of true celebration. Even the recent Kanye West/50 Cent duel and the rappers' obvious marketing ploys with MTV and iTunes peaked my interest.

Of course, my all-out obsession isn't limited to these snooty, childish cat fights. Oh no, Kirsten Dunst's frequent nipple slips, Nicole Richie's unexpected pregnancy and Lindsay Lohan's multiple rehab visits were the proverbial cherry to top off my overly dramatic sundae of celebrity gossip.

But clearly, I'm not the only one obsessed with the lives and frequent tiffs between Hollywood's celebutantes, loud mouths, and money-grubbing geezers — and Perez Hilton's millions of daily readers and thousands of US Weekly subscriptions are proof. It seems that the American public — myself most obviously included — is transfixed by celebrities' personal lives. But perhaps this not-so-startling revelation comes with one question: Why?

Perhaps no one will ever accurately answer a question so short yet so complicated — and oh, is it complicated — but allow me to wax philosophic for a moment as I explain why, despite commonly held beliefs, celeb Web trolling is less shallow– and far less damaging — than we think.

To some, celebrity lives and our obsession with them is a fairly new invention. Brief glimpses at history reveal that this fetish stretches back to the days of Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedys. Formerly, gossip may have consisted of political discussion or local snits, but the legendary sex kitten became the first subject of celebrity tongue wagging for her supposed affair with the prolific President Kennedy. From that point on, it seems, American culture followed the many and very tumultuous marriages of Elizabeth Taylor, the Beatles' cataclysmic breakup and other monumental celebrity moments.

So, as history has shown, we superficial creatures in this superficial world have proven our insatiable hunger for that lovely little thing called gossip. People do it in restaurants, around the water cooler — even small children have the propensity to talk about other people. So, what does this have to do with celebrity gossip? Celebrity blogs and magazines defer the gossip that we chatty Cathys may unleash on our coworkers, friends, passersby or even family members. Instead of talking about another person's weight, outfit or financial status, you may have had your fill of gossip rehashing Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon's burgeoning romance. To put it more plainly, would you rather your friends discuss your new haircut or Britney Spears' so-called parenting techniques?

Yet, in a very Walter Lippmann way, celebrity gossip blogs, like most other hobbies, are also means to bring together this society so torn apart by deceit and fear. Celebrities and their often twisted lives and complicated battles serve as our universal topic of conversation. A new acquaintance may not know you, your personal life or why you hate attending family functions, but chances are high that this new friend knows that L.C. and Heidi might kill each other if given the chance. It's in this warped sort of way that celeb gossip has the potential to break down barriers of insecurity and ultimately unite us around Halle Berry's first pregnancy.

Celebrities are my obsession; yours may be football, "The Office," or classical opera. Call it shallow, pointless or completely inane, but I like to think that celebrity gossip is capable of reducing social tension and ultimately bringing us together in a world where celebrities crash cars into trees and flee the scene. So, grab that celeb mag, read about the Britney Spears/K-Fed custody battle and love your neighbor.