The Academy Awards can be incredibly dull, with the abundance of commercials and cookie-cutter acceptance speeches. But the ArtsEtc. section has a solution: alcohol! Here is a drinking game to get you through the slower moments.
Disclaimer: A “drink” can entail a sip or pull, depending on how frequent the event becomes or how determined you are to get shit-faced.
General Rules
If Jennifer Lawrence falls, take a shot of Fireball.
If any of the Obamas make an appearance, shotgun a beer.
If you hear a Meryl Streep joke, take a drink.
If a musical performance is hella cringe-worthy and awkward, take a drink.
If you don’t know what a category entails or means, take a drink.
Red Carpet Rules
If an actress responds to a sexist and/or gendered question on the red carpet (ex. “Give us a twirl!,” “How long did it take you to get ready?!”) with a snarky comment, take a drink.
If Clint Eastwood’s son Scott makes an appearance, sing “Bump n’ Grind” with a shot raised to the sky. Then take said shot.
If anyone is wearing a velvet suit, take a drink.
If any of the “fashion experts” disagree about the quality of an outfit, take a drink.
EXTREME PLAYERS ONLY:
Whenever Ryan Seacrest is irritating (up to your discretion), take a drink.
If anyone is wearing long gloves or sunglasses, take a drink.
Host/Presenter Rules
If they show Neil Patrick Harris’ adorable family/husband, take a drink.
If NPH makes any mention of “How I Met Your Mother,” gather some tequila, lime and salt and turn UP.
If John Travolta mispronounces anyone’s name (never forget Adele Dazeem), take a shot.
If a pair of presenters appear incredibly nervous or mismatched, take a drink.
Winner Rules
If “Everything is Awesome” wins Best Original Song, blast it and dance around the room. Drinking is optional.
If “Boyhood” wins an award, take a selfie and a drink. At the end of the night, compile the selfies into your own time-traversing “Boyhood.”
If “Birdman” wins an award, say something pretentious and take a drink.
If Rosamund Pike wins Best Actress, take a shot and fake your own death (second part optional).
If anyone British wins an award, shout “Down in one!” and take a drink.
If “Whiplash” wins an award, pretend you know what that is and take a timid drink.
If Steve Carell wins Best Actor, take a drink.
Acceptance Speech Rules
If Clint Eastwood makes any sort of political comment, sing “Star-Spangled Banner” with an American beer raised to the sky. Then take a drink out of said beer.
If an acceptance speech runs through the music, take a drink.
If a winner thanks God (or some other deity), take a drink.