By Kyle Herzog

In
Short:

Creature is
everything you’d expect and nothing you wouldn’t; in other words it
is terrible and does nothing to stray from the typical “cheesy
monster” movie plot

Rating:

1 star out of 5

My Ramblings:

So many questions ran
through my mind as I was watching Creature:
How the hell was this not straight-to-DVD (6%
on Rotten Tomatoes)? Do albino alligators really exist (YES)?
When is this over? Could I leave early and catch the end of Warrior
again? In case it isn’t clear from the questions racing through my
oh-so-bored mind during the film, it isn’t good. 

However, there is a
bright side, because seeing movies this bad just make the good movies
that much more enjoyable. It’s the same reason you eat at White
Castle once in awhile; it just makes your next cheeseburger that much
more succulent.

Creature
is the latest in the line of over-the-top animal monster movies that
have seen a resurgence as of late. Mega
Shark vs Giant Octopus, Mega
Python vs Gatoroid, and Croctopus (which
isn’t a real movie but was a fake movie on Modern
Family and probably will be a real movie
soon) are just such movies. These movies survive because bad is
somehow now cool (hence the reason Adam Sandler gets to keep making
movies and his movies keep making $100 million). Being terrible has
become a source of humor and Creature
tries unsuccessfully to utilize this ideal.

The film
tells the story of “Lockjaw”, a half man-half alligator who
terrorizes the woods of Louisiana. A group of youngins are road
tripping through the land of Lockjaw when they decide to set up camp
near his rumored habitat. Lockjaw enters the picture, and the cheesy
violence and monster movie clich?s come with him. The subplots of
the movie are even more ridiculous than the core story , and when the
93 minute run time has finally expired you are left wondering how
many IQ points you have lost.

The movie
didn’t tickly my fancy,I’m sure that Creature
will not be the last film of its type, … and yet I couldn’t be more
pleased. As I said before, the sour (sometimes very, very sour)
makes the sweet, well…sweeter. These steaming piles also serve a
couple other purposes: (1) With a $3 million dollar budget, Creature
will no doubt turn a profit for the small company that distributed
it, (2) up and coming actors and actresses get a little screen time
on the big stage, and (3) the audience, albeit small audience, that
loves this kind of film has a reason to go the theater rather than
just trot to their local Redbox, therefore bringing a little extra
cash to the movie biz. Morale of the story, a terrible movie, but
please keep them coming, Hollywood.

Trailer: