Dear Coach Bielema,

First of all I would like to congratulate and thank you on coaching the Badgers to their first Rose Bowl appearance in over 10 years. Now, as I’m sure you already know there were a very limited number of tickets that went on sale last Sunday for student season ticket holders who wanted to go see their Badgers play in Pasadena. As you may have also heard some people, specifically, the worst people in the world, decided to buy tickets as soon as they went on sale in order to sell them at outrageous prices on the internet because they are awful, terrible, heartless monsters who have no sense of school pride, or dignity. Unfortunately, as a result of these unfathomably dastardly people, my friends and I were not able to purchase tickets before they sold out after all of 20 minutes. Now, being college students, my friends and I can’t really afford to buy tickets for $400 apiece plus pay for travel, food and lodging, and would also prefer not give the kind of people who would take this experience away from true, loving, die-hard football fans just for a couple hundred bucks, the satisfaction of actually selling their ticket and receiving payment.

So, the situation being what it is for me and hundreds of other loyal football fans around campus. I was just wondering if you could lead the Badgers to another Big Ten championship and Rose Bowl appearance next year. I suppose the BCS National Championship Game would also work just as well, but whatever you’re more partial to is fine. If you could just do that for me and the hundreds of other fans who were shut out of this once in a lifetime experience reserved for the most deserving and loving of fans, that would be really fantastic.

Sincerely,

Your friend, Dylan Kissinger