Hagstrom

If there's one thing everyone can agree upon about the bowl game breakdown this year, it's that not only are the BCS games the most appealing when it comes to the level of play, but they also have some of the most normal names. The Sugar Bowl, Orange Bowl, Rose Bowl and Fiesta Bowl all have a ring to them.

As for the rest, well, it's hard to pick which corporate sponsor is the most absurd.

Some will tell you that the Roady's Truck Stops Humanitarian Bowl is the length of a trailer better than the rest. After all, it rolls off the tongue. I say, "Do what? I don't copy" (Truckin' terms).

As a matter of fact, the 18-wheeler bowl pales in comparison to the PapaJohns.com Bowl, which doesn't run the risk of jackknifing.

Big Papa and the family don't even produce a tasty product, choosing to serve cheese (and little sauce) on a piece of cardboard. But that's the least ridiculous thing about this corporate tie-in. What's with the ".com?" Why isn't it simply the Papa John's Bowl? But no, that would make too much sense, especially since it was Papa John's, not its URL, that became "the best pizza chain in America."

I don't think I've ever gone to the "Better Ingredients. Better Pizza." website to order a pie. Buying pizza online is like eating your vegetables as a child: It doesn't happen often.

Yet here it is, housing Cincinnati and Southern Mississippi Dec. 22 in the "papa of them all," a hyperlink bowl.

While technology is ever-expanding, I'm not sure NCAA college football is quite ready for a slice of the Internet, courtesy of PapaJohns.com.

Point: PapaJohns.com, topping the list of absurd.

Voelkel

Of all the excesses of the college football bowl season — Xbox consoles and flat screen televisions for team members, millions of dollars in payouts to teams for just showing up, games starting before Christmas — nothing comes close to the over-the-top corporate names those games take on.

It can't just be the Holiday Bowl, it has to be the Pacific Life Holiday Bowl.

In fact, we might just be a couple years away from the Shady Brook Farms Turkey Bowl, played on Thanksgiving. As ridiculous as that would be, it actually wouldn't compare to the absurdity that is the Roady's Truck Stops Humanitarian Bowl.

No offense to any over-the-road drivers, but when I think of truckers and truck stops, "humanitarian" is not the first word that comes to mind. In my mind, truckers are big guys with grizzled beards and a maximum of four to five teeth, not a bunch of Mother Teresas.

Besides that, seriously: Roady's Truck Stops? Seriously? I never even knew there was such an establishment before it came across the ticker at the bottom of the screen.

That's an issue as well. If you are going to be the title sponsor of a major athletic event (major, in this case, used very loosely), you should probably have a brand name. For some reason, the very first thing I think of when I hear the phrase "Roady's Truck Stops" is Ricky Williams from three years ago driving across the country and stopping at 7-Elevens. That's not the connection a company should want fans to make with a bowl game.

And since when is anything Papa John's not good? Even if the game itself may lack the requisite garlic sauce on the side, it still has to be considered a winner.

Roady's Truck Stops. 10-4 Good buddy!