Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald


PCP: Next best bowl game

Bruan Bowl. Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl. Chick-fil-A Bowl. These are the types of bowl games people care about. You know why? Because all people care about is delicious fast food and good names.

Enough with roses, oranges and tortilla chips. People are sick of great matchups in bowl games that just have horrible names. I say enough is enough.


So what do I propose? I’m glad you asked.

Before I even start though, what’s one thing you just absolutely love that has beans, meat, salsa, sour cream, cheese and sometimes guacamole? Hot salsa? Mild? Corn? Lettuce?

Duh. Chipotle Burritos.

Now take away that tortilla, and what do you have? The Chipotle Burrito Bowl.

Instead of having the BCS title game change locations every year, why not choose a warm place in the southwest, get a little Mexican flavor in there, and pair the top two teams into the best tasting bowl in the country? It only makes sense.

Fans could be offered great deals on Chipotle items during the game and the pairing between the NCAA and the quasi-Mexican eatery would produce huge revenue for both parties. And it would be really yummy too.

Sugar is sweet and roses smell pretty, but none could match the Chipotle Burrito Bowl. With an open spot for the national championship game, look no further than your local silver studded Mexican chain restaurant for the answer.

Just don’t forget your “Chipotle Away.” This could get ugly…


Bowl games are about making money.

Strip clubs are about making money.

It is almost too obvious.

With commercial soul-suckers like the bowl, Meineke Car Care Bowl and Chick-Fil-A bowl, we need a truly evil enterprise to enter college football — you know, besides the NCAA.

The next bowl game should obviously be… The Silk Exotic Gentlemen’s Club Bowl.

What’s not to love?

Silk can supply the employees for the game. Think about it, if there are scantily clad, umm, professionals serving concessions and taking tickets the game could sell out a European soccer stadium. People tailgate outside just to watch the merchandise vendors peddling their “goods.”

Money, money, money.

The advertising dollars for this event would also be off the charts.

Normally reserved for space in the back of The Onion and in bus stops downtown, Silk Exotic Gentlemen’s Club Bowl ads could be pasted on footballs, sweatshirts, really anything you want.

They could have the strippers of the year present a game MVP trophy! Since the creation of the XFL and the Lingerie (I spelled this right on my first attempt!) Bowl, people have been trying to get bikinis and pigskin together.

The possibilities are endless.

The best part of nudity and football?

It would piss of the NCAA beyond belief… but they are too soulless to prevent this cash cow.

Two of America’s favorite pastimes have been separate for too long. Silk Exotic Gentlemen’s Club Bowl?

Yes We Can!

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