America Online first became popular when I was in middle school — it was fun to race home, sign online and see what your friends (whom you just left when you got off at your bus stop) were doing. It became a part of my life through high school and then when I got to college, I was introduced to AIM.

Ahh, AIM. The life of away messages. I remember freshman year making away messages for everything I did: “eating,” “shower,” “out.”

Four years later, I have found myself never putting them up. I don’t know exactly when I stopped or why. I don’t know what took place between then and now that made me change my mind. But maybe, subconsciously, I was thinking what I am about to ask you:

What is the point of an away message? Since when have we decided that it is normal to let everyone we know, and some we don’t, what we are doing during the day? Don’t your roommates or friends already know what you’re doing? And if not, they know how to reach you. Do you really want that random person from high school who still has you on their buddy list checking-up on you at all hours of the day? And why post your cell phone number or address on your profile? That’s not very smart.

What about the ones that say: “call me,” I mean, do you really get that many more phone calls when you’re begging for them?

I do study in College Library, so I do know that while students are busy “writing” papers, they also are signed onto AIM and frantically checking away messages for “study breaks.” I’m sure you really are that enthralled by what every single person on your buddy list is doing.

If we’re friends and it’s your birthday, I’ll know it, you don’t have to let everyone know it’s today. If you’re taking the LSAT or the GRE, I’ll wish you good luck if I know you — don’t put something up for everyone to see so that they can wish you luck as well. Everyone knows you studied hard.

And then there are the other “away message” abusers: those who are putting them up so a specific someone will read what they are doing. I have known some to purposely post things on their away messages so someone in particular would “think” that they were busy or out doing something really fun — like I’m sure that worked. Here’s a hint: if you want to get someone’s attention, try and be a little ambiguous. I’m sure “class, gym, shower, out with the girls,” doesn’t really make them wonder where you are or what you’re doing. And both guys and girls are the guilty ones here. Want to know something? Everyone knows what you are doing. It’s obvious.

Or what about the ones who purposely put things up about other people? That is the most childish display of behavior I have seen since kindergarten and doesn’t deserve more copy space than that.

Bottom line: if you’re going to put something up, humor us. Be creative. A friend of my roommate who goes to Johns Hopkins University has kind of created a cult following of her away messages because of her wit and humor. I don’t know what she’s doing during the day, or where she is, but I do know that if I am that desperate to kill time by checking an away message — it would be hers. And if you’re not funny, you may as well just go idle.

Lindsay Zuckerman ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in journalism.