LAKEFRONT ON LANGDON — University of Wisconsin students and Madison community members gorged themselves gratuitously on free buffalo wings Wednesday at the new Lakefront on Langdon Café at Memorial Union to see who could hold the crown of the best eater in Madison.
The hungry polished off about 1,500 hundred wings in an eight-minute “Battle to the Bone” that pitted 11 finalists from a pool of more than a hundred eaters that participated in 10 individual heats of who could eat 10 wings the fastest. The main event’s rules, as delivered by Joey from the Madison radio station Z104, stated the chicken-craving contestants had to eat as many Frank’s Red Hot sauce flavored chicken wings in eight minutes as possible. However, the rules also had one significant disclaimer.
“If you throw up during the contest, then you are automatically disqualified and have officially grossed out everyone in this room.”
Two of the wing dingers eventually dropped out of the contest from the apparent fear of getting sick.
The third-place eater ate 1.68 pounds of the mild-flavored wings, only to be edged one-hundredth of a pound by Dave Neumyer, Madison’s favorite bouncer at Wando’s. Grand-prize winner Chris Kuckleburg, who took home a trophy as large as his appetite with a buffalo proudly displayed on top and a money prize in American Express checks, trampled the competition by eating a mouthful of 1.81 pounds in eight minutes. Kuckleburg, a UW graduate student in comparative biomedical sciences, said he knew he was going to win at the beginning of the tournament, to which his friend replied, “the others didn’t even have a chance.”
“I’m kind of a pro-am eating guy,” Kuckleburg said, adding that the estimated 7,000-calorie meal is not an atypical activity. “This is pretty typical for me.”
Kuckleburg added he did not fast for the competition, clarifying he ate five bowls of cereal that morning. Though Kuckleburg sounds like a stereotypical over-eater and one would assume him to be overweight, he carries a lean 6-foot-3, 195-pound body, and admits he works out “all the time.” He also added that this wing-competition trophy will only complement the other eating titles he has swallowed up over the years — among them a pancake contest, a State Street Brats two-pound burger contest and an event where he had to eat a three-pound burger, two pounds of fries and one pound of beans in an hour.
“That one really took it out of me,” Kuckleburg said and only offered the advice to other eating enthusiasts to drink a lot of water or exercise to get into the best gorging state.
Though both Kuckleburg and Neumyer received jubilant cheers when they walked to get their trophies, possibly the loudest roar came when a young, skinny woman took first place in a semi-final heat and advanced to the final round.
Though eating nearly two pounds of wings in less than 10 minutes is not a recommendation, account supervisor of a public-relations group supporting Frank’s Red Hot Sabina Albirt said the buffalo wings are actually Atkins-diet friendly. She also said the reason for the competition is the fact that buffalo wings are now 40 years old, originating in Buffalo, N.Y., with Frank’s sauce being the secret ingredient in the original recipe. Albirt went on to say throughout her adventures traveling and promoting buffalo wings, Wisconsin eaters rate among the best.
“There was some quality eating I saw here,” Albirt said. “Damn good eating … a lot of gusto here.”
