Jeanie Peppin, a 22-year-old junior at Madison Area Technical College, is the mother of a beautiful baby boy. His name is Kendrick, and he is 18 months old. However, Peppin has only seen her child twice. Faced with the situation of being pregnant, unmarried and still in high school, she did what she felt was best for everyone — she gave her child up.
This decision is not one she came to lightly or rashly. Even so, Jeanie’s situation is not unique. Teenage pregnancy is an issue not uncommon in today’s world. What is changing, however, is the manner in which young mothers deal with the situation. More women are looking at options other than keeping the child or terminating their pregnancy.
“I honestly didn’t know what to do at first,” Peppin said. “I didn’t feel fit to be a mother, and I believe children deserve married parents. I wanted to give [my child] a chance.”
Sometimes people assume that because a child is given up for adoption the mother does not care about her baby or made bad decisions. Although that picture is sometimes a reality, it is a small reality.
However, choosing to put a child up for adoption may be one of the hardest decisions a woman can be faced with.
Even so, trends show women are making more educated choices about their lives and their unborn children’s lives. Many are seeking the assistance of legal professionals as well as counseling services.
Educated decision-making
Scott Spear, director of clinical services at University Health Services at the University of Wisconsin, works regularly with women forced to make difficult pregnancy decisions. He said women in these situations are very capable and knowledgeable about their options.
“I think that most women of reproductive age have thought about what they would do,” Spear said.
The women he deals with are between 18 and 25 years old. Among that group, 80 percent are still in college.
“Women see [unwanted pregnancies] as disrupting their academic plans, [and] they feel they’re not emotionally, economically or socially stable,” Spear said.
Besides medical professionals, women can turn to lawyers for information about their options. Those interested in adoption can choose from three types of adoption: open, semi-open or closed.
UW clinical associate professor Gretchen Vinney also works as a private lawyer, helping females between the ages of 16 and 22 with the legal process of adoption. One aspect of that process is determining why the women chose this option and making sure the decision is right for them.
Vinney said the motivations behind these decisions vary, but most women say it is because they are just not ready.
“Some girls don’t want to be a parent or tied down; they’re too young and want to do something other than parenting,” Vinney said.
Adoption agencies can also provide information about dealing with unwanted pregnancies, even if women are not intending to give their child up. Catholic Charities, whose Madison branch helps young women with adoptions, has a specialized division for adoption and parental counseling. It offers various counseling programs, health-care options and access to files on couples waiting to adopt.
Adoption specialist Jesse Godek sees a variety of women who come into Catholic Charities.
“From the women we get, some of them know what they’re going to do, some don’t,” he said. “We try to focus especially on those who aren’t sure. We go over their resources and what the best plan is.”
The typical individuals Godek deals with are Caucasian females between the ages of 19 and 24. A majority of these women are still in school with certain aspirations.
“The birth mothers that come in are generally people who have goals,” he said. “Some are in college, a little more mature, and understand what it would be like to raise a child.”
Although these groups differ in what they ultimately add to the adoption process, the type of trend they are witnessing is the same. Women seem to be coming to these professionals with a more mature, knowledgeable and open attitude about their situation.
However, while young mothers may be increasingly more knowledgeable about their options, harsh stereotypes remain about young women with unwanted pregnancies.
“My sister and I used to have views on those kinds of girls,” Peppin said. “So when it happened to me, she was very upset. We didn’t talk for a while, and that was hard. We had been very close before.”
Even those not as close to Peppin gave her a hard time.
“One time this lady started to lecture me,” she said. “She said ‘Just imagine how your son feels.’ I couldn’t believe she felt that way. But I don’t think [people] really understand it. They just think, ‘Oh you threw your son away.'”
However, Peppin is resilient. She said this experience has brought a broader perspective to her and her family’s lives.
“Now when my sister hears people badmouth those girls she gets upset,” she said.
The process
Apart from the heavy emotional experience a woman goes through in choosing adoption and handling the immediate consequences, she also has to cope with very strict legal rules.
The two main legal proceedings deal with terminating a birth mother’s parental rights and the actual adoption of the child.
Once a mother has made her decision and is ready face the legal aspects, usually an agency and legal advisors enter the picture.
Adoption agencies work not only with expecting mothers, but also with those waiting to adopt. Waiting families must go through rigorous screening and home investigation before being allowed on an adoption waiting list.
When a woman chooses to go through an agency, she is allowed to choose the adopting parents from such a list.
“The birth parent picks from picture and video files or waiting lists of people who have the home study done,” Godek said.
The next step is a meeting between the chosen family and the birth mother to make both sides comfortable and begin the whole procedure. Even so, the birth mother must wait until the child is born to begin the legal proceedings.
Usually, within a few weeks after the child is born, legal custody of the child is transferred to the adoption agency. The agency places the baby in a foster home until it can be placed with the adopting family.
“The baby, after birth in Wisconsin, is sent to foster care,” Godek said.
Proceedings begin right away to provide a smooth transition for the child. During the process, a judge assesses each case by questioning both the adopting family and the birth mother. The judge probes the reasoning behind the birth mother’s decision. She must show she made the decision freely and was not coerced in any way.
Once the judge makes the decision to give the child to the adopting family, the birth mother has 30 days to appeal. Finally, after the 30-day period, the adoption is completely legal.
“The Wisconsin law is so particular,” Vinney said. “There isn’t relinquishment like there is in other states. These are very difficult and complicated court procedures.”
After the judge grants adoption rights, the mother’s rights are fully terminated, and the new family becomes the child’s legal guardians. Then, for about five to seven months after the adoption, a social worker visits the new family to ensure the placement is satisfactory.
“If the placement didn’t work, we’d go back to see if the birth mom wants to choose another family,” Godek said. “Under special circumstances, the parental rights could be restored to the birth mom.”
Peppin said her experience with the legal side of adoption went smoothly.
“[The agency] was very open about the different options,” she said. “They made me feel comfortable, not pressured.”
Peppin’s adoption is categorized as semi-open. This means some communication is allowed between her and the new family — the two may exchange letters and pictures. However, this is all done through the agency.
“They will send the agency a letter or some pictures and then the agency sends those to me,” Peppin said.
However, the communication is limited. Letters and pictures are only allowed until age three. After that, no contact can be made until the child reaches age 18.
These days, Peppin leads what may be perceived as a typical young adult’s life. She is enrolled in college and working toward a degree in hotel and restaurant management. She works full time in that field and is currently involved with someone. She still spends time with friends and remains close to her family.
One difference may be a resounding maturity, the result of experiencing a major life obstacle.
“I want my son to be proud of me, so that if we do meet one day, he knows I did what was best,” Peppin said.
