She was drunk, she knew her assailant and she didn’t report the crime.

This scenario is representative of the most common way college-age women are sexually assaulted in Madison. Due to the personal nature of the crime and the fact most assaults involve alcohol, sexual assault goes largely unreported.

However silenced this issue may be, it is a crime that affects not only the lives of women on campus, but also the lives of the men who care about the welfare of women and their relationships with them.

An unreported crime

The state of Wisconsin defines sexual assault as “unwanted sexual contact or sexual intercourse with another person without the consent of that person.”

In 2001, UW-Madison students reported 59 sexual assaults to the Dean of Students office. Fourteen of these occurred on campus (meaning university residence halls or on UW property), 37 occurred in close proximity to campus and eight occurred some distance from Madison.

While visiting her sister as a high-school student, one current UW sophomore, who wishes her name to be withheld, was sexually assaulted by a male acquaintance of her sister.

“He pushed himself on me and kept offering me more beer every time I said ‘no’ [to sex],” she said.

Like the majority of all sexual-assault victims, she chose not to report the incident.

“I felt bad doing it and I didn’t think what happened needed to be reported,” she said. “I thought I would be blamed for being irresponsible. The guy that tried to push himself on me was a friend of my sister’s and I thought she would be mad at me.”

This is the most common way sexual assaults occur on college campuses nationwide.

The Campus Women’s Center reports that among those involved in acquaintance rape on college campuses, 75 percent of males and 55 percent of females had been drinking or using drugs. Additionally, 92 percent of offenders are male.

The Dane County Rape Crisis Center reports 93 percent of sexual-assault victims knew their assailants before the assault occurred.

Most assaults take place where the victim feels safe, such as at home or in the home of a friend. Only one-quarter to one-third of all sexual assaults are ever reported.

“It could even be a lot fewer than that,” Cheri Dubiel, Dane County Rape Crisis Center resource development coordinator said.

Dubriel explained there are not any precise statistics on how many victims of sexual assault choose not to report the crime but said the number could be even higher because a large number of victims do not seek access to sexual assault services at all.

Angela Rose, founder of the campus women’s rights organization Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment, cited some reasons as to why victims do not report assaults.

“Sexual assault is such a personal crime and we live in a victim-blaming society,” she said. “The average person tends to blame the victim in some way. In many cases, the perpetrator is someone that the victim trusts and it is very difficult to come forward.”

Rose also said many people blame themselves for the incident, often because alcohol is involved. Her organization seeks to educate students and the community at large about sexual assault and to stress that no one, regardless of the circumstances, asks for or deserves sexual assault.

An issue for both men and women

While Rose said she emphasizes that no victim of sexual assault is a deserving one, she offered some suggestions as to how women and men can work together to prevent sexual assault.

“I feel that women and men need to talk to each other and have increased communication,” she said. “Especially during sexual activity, everyone needs to achieve mutual agreement on what is comfortable.”

Rose also said the issue of consent is a necessary ingredient in a sexual relationship. She defines consent as a verbal agreement by both parties, not merely the absence of a “no.”

Stephen Montagna, member of the Madison organization Men Stopping Rape, said he agreed with Rose’s definition of consent.

“Body language is not perfect and precise,” he said. “The only way to know is to ask.”

Montagna also said he feels men should not think about consent as simply permission, but instead as part of a continuous process in a healthy relationship.

Montagna and his organization focus on educating young men and boys. They present workshops investigating patterns of male masculinity and sexuality in places like high schools, college classrooms, and juvenile detention centers.

“For boys and young men, it’s a safe bet that when I walk in [to give a workshop], I will be the first adult male to talk to them honestly about sex, dating, et cetera,” he said.

When he conducts a workshop, Montagna said he speaks about what it is like to be a male in our society. He discusses the pressure men put on each other to be sexually experienced, the way sexual activity is portrayed in the media, and he challenges what men may consider the attributes of a fulfilling relationship. Montagna said current cultural norms may set men up for brutal or hurtful behaviors at the expense of potentially rich, valuable sexual relationships.

“In college, there is so much focus on alcohol,” he said. “Guys are told, ‘get her drunk.’ Where is the joy in that? Why is that attractive? You just risk assaulting someone.”

Montagna said a relationship involving continual communication creates positive moods and helps both parties feel safe. He also suggests partners become responsible for their own feelings, respect each other’s space and actively assert themselves.

Michael Kimmel, Professor of Sociology at State University of New York-Stony Brook and author of “The Gendered Society,” also addressed the issue of sexual assault as both a men’s and women’s issue. In a lecture at UW Feb. 11, Kimmel discussed, among other issues, how gender roles could set up an environment where an assault is more likely to occur.

Kimmel gave a possible explanation for why men commit sexual assault.

“Obviously one of the major factors is contempt for women, not seeing women as equals, not seeing them as people, but more as potential conquests,” he said. “When people dehumanize another, take away their humanity, we are capable of extraordinary cruelties.”

Like Montagna, Kimmel believes both men and women can have more fulfilling relationships if both parties feel safe. He said women spend a lot of time and energy “policing” themselves, by making sure their behavior and presentation reduce their risks, by walking with friends, watching their drinks or even curtailing their education by not staying out too late at the library.

Kimmel said women should continue to reduce their risk by these common practices; however, he said that if the underlying threat of sexual assault was lessened, they could feel much freer in all aspects of their lives, including relationships with men.

Closer to campus, Austin King is another man taking up the fight against sexual assault. He is a member of Men Opposing Sexual Assault, an organization founded by Rose as a campus-based activist group of men who dedicate themselves to ending sexual violence. King said he feels men have a special role to play in the fight against sexual assault.

“We need to end the stigma that surrounds sexual assault as a ‘woman’s issue,’ and recognize that it is a crime that affects all of us, men and women,” King said. Because of this, King said he feels MOSA’s education efforts are especially important.

“The first step toward ending sexual assault must always be getting people to talk about it,” he said.

If an assault occurs

According to the Rape Crisis Center, if a sexual assault occurs, the first action a victim should take is to seek medical attention in the form of a sexual-assault examination.

Meriter Hospital employs a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner, responsible for collecting evidence and addressing health care needs.

The victim may also immediately call the crisis center’s 24-hour hotline for assistance and support.

Once an examination has taken place, the victim may speak with an advocate, who is usually available during the examination. The advocate will discuss options for pressing charges or simply provide support.

The center provides free and confidential counseling for people who recently experienced an assault as well as for those who have been assaulted in the past.

Sexual assault can be officially reported in three ways. If the victim is a UW student, s/he may file a complaint through the Dean of Students office. The Dean’s office assists with academic affairs while the victim recovers from the assault. They also assist the victim in possible relocation and discuss options for filing legal charges.

If the assailant is a UW student, the victim has the option of using the student judicial process. This can be done on its own or in addition to a report to either UW Police or the Madison Police Department. If the sexual assault occurs on campus, the victim should call campus police. If off-campus, s/he should contact the Madison Police Department.

“It is very important to talk to someone about an assault, because it is a very traumatizing situation and I’ve found that if women keep it to themselves, then [the trauma of the experience] will come back,” Rose said.