Like a lot of students who checked their inboxes to see if
they received student season football tickets in July, I’m pissed. As it turns
out, I made the mistake of assuming that after consistently receiving season
tickets as an underclassman, I’d be virtually guaranteed tickets as a senior. I
was wrong.

So what is the most boneheaded decision the UW-Athletic
Department could’ve made last year?

Breathalyzing fans at the entrance of Camp Randall?
Suspending Lance Smith? No. The worst decision in the history of UW sports came
when the Athletic Department decided to change the student season football
ticket allocation process to a weighted lottery system that ensures each class
the same number of tickets.

I’ll be honest, the Athletic Department’s decision ranks up
there with the all-time worst decisions ever made, including a Cher farewell
tour and Leprechaun 4.

Who thought it was a good idea to guarantee that freshmen
and sophomores should be entitled to as many seats as juniors and seniors?

I’ll tell you who: Underclassmen. The Athletic Department
validated its decision to move to a weighted lottery system by saying it
surveyed students at random to see if they were pleased with the current
lottery system. Oddly enough, the students weren’t happy, which is ironic,
seeing as every student I’ve spoken with is thoroughly displeased with the new
system.

Here’s the other thing. Surveys are fundamentally biased:
people who are upset are the ones most likely to respond to them.

See, there’s a saying that goes “leave well enough alone.”

Any UW student who has stood in the stands on game day
understands there is a natural order to the student section. Upperclassmen sit
in P. Underclassmen put in their time sitting in underclassmen sections with
the understanding that when they are upperclassmen, they will be able to sit in
Section P and enjoy the same privileges — or at least get season tickets.
Instead, the Athletic Department felt it necessary to tamper with a tradition
it deemed in need of dire repair for the “well-being of [its] patrons.”
Evidently, in a rush to appease dissatisfied students, the Athletic Department
missed out on that finer point.

Now, in addition to screwing a large number of upperclassmen
out of season tickets, the Athletic Department has delivered the student body
another slap in the face by removing the upperclassmen section. And while it’s
likely the Athletic Department will deny that the sole motivation for removing
Section P had anything to do with the culture of alcohol consumption on campus,
every student knows that this was just another ploy by the administration to
curb student drinking under the guise of protecting students’ well-being.

Perhaps worst of all, however, is the fact that the Athletic
Department’s decision to move to a weighted lottery system spoiled game day not
only for the people who didn’t get season tickets, but for the people who did.
What good are season tickets if you can’t be in the stands to enjoy the game
with a few friends?

Of course, all of this fails to mention the ever-growing
black market the Athletic Department is creating for student season tickets by
increasing demand. But what I find to be the most ironic of all is that if the
Athletic Department didn’t want to see an empty student section before kickoff,
why did they go along with a decision to alienate the most dedicated football
fans in the first place?

But don’t just ask me. I won’t be the only senior sitting in
my apartment this football season.

Joe Pfister ([email protected])
is a senior majoring in English and political science.