Every Halloween season, there seem to be a lot “too soon” moments with peoples’ costumes. If you are in a bind and looking for a costume to pull together last minute, don’t go the route of ISIS executioner or Ebola patient. Check out some of our picks for quick and easy costumes that should garner more laughs than boos this Halloween season.
Poop emoji
Super simple and super trendy, the poop emoji has earned a prominent spot in today’s popular culture and deserves to be relished as such. This Halloween, commemorate an icon by wearing brown pants, a brown shirt and a brown beanie with googly eyes pasted to it. Wear a semi-pleased expression all night resembling the look after a good poo to mimic the emoji’s smile. – Selena Handler
Ke$ha
Tease your hair, shake it around. Put on a unitard and roll in some glitter. You won’t have to worry about messing up your costume as you party the night away – you’ve already accomplished that! – Kayla Marcoe
Crayon
Beat all those out there dressed as Ebola patients (yes that’s apparently a thing now) and reminisce on those elementary school days. For the easiest Halloween costume ever, deck yourself head to toe in one color; top it with a triangle shaped hat and woo, you’re officially a crayon/also probably a dork. – Phebe Meyers
Bowling Pin
Wear all white (white facepaint and swim cap included), and wear a red scarf. Enjoy the compound fractures as drunken Freakfesters lob 13-pounder bowling balls at you all night! – Aaron Hathaway
Drake
If you’re feeling athletically inclined, why not go for Air ball Drake? All you need is a Kentucky blue quarter-zip and a disappointed, innocent expression, as if the whole Kohl Center had just witnessed your ill-timed air ball. Just hold on, we’re going home (to copious amounts of alcohol, probably). – Audrey Piehl
A Dad
Go to Goodwill and find ill-fitting jeans and a matching denim jacket. Top this off with some puffy white Nike Air Monarch 1s and a baseball cap of an obscure local sports team. Adopt a child for added effect! – Aaron Hathaway
Cocaine
Wear all white and cover yourself in white powder (sparkly white powder if you’re into that). Then wear a sign around your neck that says ‘Get in LINE’ (as in a line of cocaine). Cops love it! – Kyla Kaplan
The ’90s
Put on Zubaz and a Beastie Boys T-shirt with a flannel or multi-colored track jacket overtop. Call yourself the ’90s (yes, the entire decade) and watch yourself become the most popular person in the room. – Erik Sateren
Kevin Spacey
Pay homage to House of Cards and K-PAX star Kevin Spacey by donning galaxy-print leggings and a NASA shirt, and then wearing a nametag labeled ‘Kevin.’ Get it? Few will. – Aaron Hathaway
Heavy Metal Singer
Wear a tight vest or T-shirt with a motley skeleton. A deluge of dazed and ostentatious tattoos on your arms and abs (if you want to show others) and black skinny or straight jeans. Adding wedges with extremely thick soles would be ideal. The most important part of the costume is thick, thick, thick eyeliner and shadow – consult panda for reference. Also put your most “don’t care” and cynical face on all night. – Penny Peng
Vending Machine
Cardboard, velcro, glue and a sharpie. Strap on the cardboard, draw a slot for dollars and attach some candy. Then mercilessly sell the candy to those with raging drunchie cravings drunkenly wandering the streets. Full-sized snickers? That’s $5 but hey, no line. Not only can you make it in about five minutes but depending on your marketing skills, you can take care of November rent. – Mekea Larson
Looseleaf paper
As inspired from a Jim Halpert original Halloween costume, all you need is a white shirt and three pieces of round black paper taped vertically on one side. Boom. You’re a piece of looseleaf paper. – Colleen Kennedy