Editor’s Note: This story is satirical.
In a turn of events not unlike the plot of a long running fantasy-political series of novels, Bucky Badger’s long lost nephew Buster Badger has apparently returned from being raised across the Atlantic Ocean in the mysterious foreign land of Britain.
It is well known that Bucky inherited his throne as the King of Madison after the tragic death by chainsaw of his brother King Karl Bucky and Nephew Prince Buster. But the sight of the Young Badger standing proudly atop his flagship “the Crimson Lite” as his fleet entered the Isthmus changes the optics of the tragedy utterly.
“Uncle, I call you a coward! While your cruel men did indeed chainsaw my father within the throne room, they merely chainsawed a chipmunk painted to look like me! I know you sit atop a throne of blood and lies.”
Bucky Badger, ruler of the Madison Isthmus, quickly called a press conference. Speaking to the Badger Herald in front of an assembled army of poorly armed peasant folk taken from surrounding counties he laid out his defense.
Bucky marches his Troops towards battle
“While this pretender may claim to be my dearly lost nephew, everyone knows that England is the home of the European Line of Badgers, who lost a proper casus belli for these lands generations ago! Now they paint up one of their own, claiming that he is my beloved nephew.”
In line with the King’s claims, it appears that Buster is supported by the swords, men and coin of the aristocratic British Badger line of ancestors. But it’s clear that the self proclaimed Boy-Prince and the besieged King share quite the similar appearance and mannerism.
So far Buster has made steady progress in his invasion of the Isthmus, having recently conquered the entirety of Lakeshore, where his longships first touched down upon terra firma.
“Eh I don’t care who’s in charge, as long as the mead flows freely and not too many people die in pointless wars for small tracts of land near me.”
Said the Count of Lakeshore, quiet engineering student Mark Hill, who has reported him to be a giving lord, merely levying 10% of the students gold and manpower toward his current military pursuits.
Introverted Lakeshore Students enjoy the haunting silence that settles over an empty battlefield
Whatever the result, the real losers of the war will be the students, as classes will continue despite any battle interruptions. Please be advised to look out for trebuchets, cavalry charges and rogue students trying to join in on the fun. Death will count against your attendance grade.
