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What (not) to watch when streaming in quarantine

Quick reviews to help you decide what’s worth your time on Netflix
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Courtesy of Giphy user www.hercampus.com

If you’re a normal human and have a Netflix account, it’s safe to assume you have spent a hot second behind the red and black emblem this quarantine. You’ve spent hours scrolling through questionable Netflix originals, switching to Hulu, Amazon Prime, HBO (if you’re bougie) and finally settling for a mediocre show.

I’m just like you, but I’ve taken some comm arts classes, so I like to pretend I’m a film critic. If you’ve been wondering whether you should invest your time on a trending show versus the third rewatching of “Grey’s Anatomy”, look no further.

Put on your beret and take a slow drag from a cig, here are my hot takes on a few “Suggested For You” streams.

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Shows:

Normal People” (Hulu) – if you want to talk in an Irish accent for a week, this is the show for you! The characters in this book-turned-one-season-hit are super loveable and also super hateable. Quick warning – if you are single, you will immediately want to find a significant other. I literally redownloaded Tinder two episodes in. Also … lots of intercourse.

“Worth It” scale: can be slow, but hot & heavy if that’s what you’re looking for

“Down to Earth with Zac Efron” (Netflix) – I love watching stupid rich celebrities spend way too much moolah on ridiculous trips. If you love Zac Efron, don’t watch this – he turned into somebody’s dad and most of the show is commentary from his random, granola friend. If you hate Zac Efron, this will give you lots of fuel. He cried over carbs in one episode.

“Worth It” scale: would not watch seriously

https://badgerherald.com/banter/2020/04/22/what-tiger-king-taught-me-about-love/

Community” (Netflix AND Hulu) – This gem recently came to Netflix and needs more hype. If you like “The Office” or “Parks and Rec,” I guarantee this show is ten times better … at least if you have an elite taste in humor. The show can be slightly problematic (as are all 2010’s sitcoms), but a lot of their jokes are also ahead of their time.

“Worth It” scale: definitely worth checking out if you want to laugh

“(Un)well” (Netflix) – I think Netflix does a great job of producing documentaries. (I guess that’s what happens when you’re a media tycoon.) Therefore, this show about unorthodox health practices is well-produced, informational and pretty entertaining. I will say that they’re trying hard to unnecessarily demonize some practices.

“Worth It” scale: If you love a good devil’s advocate and hate the idea of alternative medicine, this might be for you.

Movies: 

“Kissing Booth 2” (Netflix) – As I didn’t want to ruin “Euphoria’s” hunky Nate or “The Act’s” Miss Gypsy Rose, I actually didn’t watch this movie. Namely, because I have taste and hate wasting my time. So, I asked my roommate, Isabel, to give a review. “I loved it, even though I know most people didn’t. Hot, hot, hot guys!” she said. Isn’t it fun to pretend that 20-somethings are horny high-schoolers?

“Worth It” scale: if you’re my roommate, I guess

“Spy Kids 2” (Netflix) – I started watching this as a joke and was immediately sucked in. This series was certainly before its time, and it shows. To this day, there are few spy movies with as much creativity AND emotional intelligence as this critically acclaimed film. The child actors do a phenomenal job, and Steve Buscemi has a little cameo here. What a cast!

“Worth It” scale: Even better than the first time I watched it, YES!

https://badgerherald.com/artsetc/2020/02/25/three-more-movies-coming-in-2020-you-need-to-check-out/

“Hamilton” (Disney+) – If you’re anything like me and had an obsessive “Hamilton” phase years ago, you might agree that this live recording lives up to the hype! If you know any lyrics, I wouldn’t recommend watching this in the company of others. Did I tear up at least seven times? Of course. Did I re-fall in love with the entire cast? YUP. Did it make Lin Manuel-Miranda memes even funnier? Duh.

“Worth It” scale: Even if you were a normal person in 2015, this educational musical (what a sell, huh) is worth your time

“Parasite” (Hulu) – I didn’t know what to expect starting this Oscar-winner, but boy oh boy was I kept on my toes. Although the plot becomes slightly predictable, the ending delivers a packing punch, sweaty! I truthfully wasn’t bothered reading subtitles during the movie, especially because there’s suspense in each scene. Props to my man, Bong!

“Worth It” scale: I’d say it’s slightly overhyped, but you have to watch this film

Don’t come at me for any of these reviews. I’m extremely picky and also highkey get bored watching shows. Hopefully, this list will help you and your roommate minimize fights because “you never want to watch anything I want to watch!”

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