If not having a New Year’s kiss didn’t make you feel bad enough about your pathetic single life, Valentine’s Day is lingering around the corner to make you feel even worse.
Store aisles have traded in their holiday décor and 2015 party hats for overpriced bushels of roses and displays of heart-shaped chocolate boxes. The country is vomiting pink and red, and your committed friends are standing by your side to express their unwarranted sympathy and pity toward your relationship status. No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to escape the constant reminder of feeling forever alone.
Nonetheless, all of you singles shouldn’t waste a perfectly good Saturday sulking and bitter over a lack of love. Instead you should celebrate, whether it be with friends or alone. Embrace your freedom and show yourself some love where it seems lost. How, you may ask? Here is a list of activities to get you through the day, the evening and the night.
Throw a stoplight party
What better way to weed out other singles than making all those who are taken wear red and those who are single wear green? With all of the singles in green, it will be easy to spot another lonely soul in search of a Valentine.
The box of chocolate game
Instead of letting those Valentine’s Day chocolate boxes on the store shelves go to waste, buy one for yourself — make sure to buy the assorted kind. Open the box and throw away the guide, so you have no way of identifying the contents of each piece. Try each chocolate one by one and attempt to guess which flavor is which.
Valentine’s Day style “Secret Santa”
Spread some platonic love with a Feb. 14 get-together during which you exchange “Secret Valentine” gifts.
Group Tinder roulette
Sitting in a circle, everyone in the group downloads the dating app “Tinder” and makes a profile. You all begin playing Tinder individually, going through all of your choices. The catch is, you must say “yes” to every match that pops up on your screen. If anything particularly exciting, strange or laughable happens, share with the group. If you’d like to take group Tinder roulette to the next level, play drunk.
Sing the classics at a karaoke bar
Whether you sound like a hybrid of Fergie and Jesus or like a dying animal, getting on a stage and belting the lyrics to those classic 80s and 90s sing-alongs is one of the best ways to let loose and release your emotions. Some of my favorites for the occasion are Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and “Heartbreaker,” as well as Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl.” Once you warm up to the spotlight and get the crowd going, try serenading people or throwing in some dance moves. Be sure to live in the moment and do an encore, even if the audience doesn’t want one.
Buy a pint of your favorite ice cream and watch a movie/Netflix marathon
This is the classic “single on Valentine’s Day” go-to. Despite being overrated or cliché, nothing beats the classics. While others are dressed up and out to dinner, you get to throw on your old sweats and feed your sweet tooth — having no one to impress can be glorious.
Turn cliché pity phrases into a drinking game
Throughout the course of the day, keep track of how many times you hear any of the following four phrases: “There are plenty of fish in the sea;” “You’re beautiful, smart and independent, you don’t need a man/woman;” “You’ll find that special someone;” “I have a friend that I can set you up with.” For each phrase you hear, you get a point (give yourself a bonus point if the phrase is followed up with a hug, pat on the back or pity gift). At the end of the day, count your points. Take a shot for each point received.
Dance to Beyoncé (or an artist of your preference) in your favorite underwear
Chances are you have always wanted to do this one — you’ve just never had an excuse to justify it. Now you finally have the opportunity. Nothing says “liberation” quite like a no-pants dance party, and nothing says “independent” quite like Beyoncé.
Hand roses out to strangers
Buy a few dozen roses and stand on a crowded street corner. Select random strangers and hand out the flowers. It’s a great conversation starter and a way to get out of your comfort zone. More importantly, what better way to brighten your day than to brighten someone else’s?
Converse with the bartender at your local bar
Go out for a drink and start up a conversation with your local bartender. If they have to work on a national Hallmark holiday, I’m sure they’ll appreciate a conversation partner. Try and find out something interesting about them or their life story — you never know what you may learn about them, or even what you may learn about life in general. Bartenders are wise human beings.
There you have it; being alone may not be so bad after all. It’s an opportunity to show yourself a little love, an excuse to celebrate, dance, sing, buy yourself flowers and eat all of the chocolate your heart desires. After all, you can’t let the surplus of convenience store Valentine’s Day products go to waste.
