Screw monogamy — why have one lover when you can have three? You can hook up with her on Thursday and her on Friday and her on Saturday. Just tell them you're "seeing other people" and then your ass is covered. It seems so simple … and so fun.

Hugh Hefner does it. He has Bridget, Kendra and Holly. Count'em — three live-in girlfriends (down from eight). Tyra Banks had Hef on her talk show "Tyra" (don't judge me) and questioned his thoughts on monogamy. His response was "It's monogamous within the group." She called it "trinogomy." I call it dirty.

A lot of party-hopping, cheating, non-monogamous celebrities make the gossip headlines every day. The Facebook even has an "in an open relationship" option on college students' profiles (I wonder if that's in the high school version). If Colin Farrell and Paris Hilton were on the Facebook, that's the box they would check.

But just because people are slutty, does it mean monogamy is non-existent? Penn and Teller's show "Bullshit!" (Showtime) has an episode on the nuclear family, which they call … you guessed it: bullshit. They found a happy suburban married couple — and each spouse had a live-in boyfriend or girlfriend. There kids knew about it. The neighbors knew about it. They all ate dinner together. And the husband and wife were perfectly OK with screwing someone else every night — right down the hall from one another.

Is this where monogamy is headed? Maybe we are more accepting of alternative relationships and not the textbook one man, one woman type, but I don't think monogamy is dead — secretly everyone wants that special someone, whether they are in college or in the Playboy Mansion.

Even one of Mr. Playboy's platinum blonde big-tit bunnies admitted that it's hard to share Hef. She says she's in love with him. And when she's older, she's not going to want to share him. Well, the man turns 80 in April, so that shouldn't be a problem.

But for those dating people their own age, if "trinogomy" is supposedly so great, then why is "The Bachelor" (ABC) so awkward for everyone? Hot doctor man Travis has to date 25 women at one time (who have been cut down to six by the fourth episode). I actually feel bad for the guy. If there are more than two people involved, someone is going to get hurt.

And when there is more than one girl involved, it's over. These girls on "The Bachelor" can't even share a man they have just met, because women are territorial. It's clear that females do not get along with each other when there is a man (or a rose) in the picture, and any woman attempting to stand in their way is toast.

Putting a name and a face to the competition (and putting them in the same house) is a death trap, especially for poor Travis. Just look at Tara, the crazy red-head who can't let Travis have any alone time with anyone and just walks in on his conversations with the other women to "see how they're doing." Sarah, from Tennessee, was right when she said she was more nervous to meet the other bachelorettes than she was to meet the bachelor on the first episode.

How can you make a suave, 33-year-old ER doctor from Vanderbilt Medical Center, go crazy? Women. Don't try this at home, people.

Even when a couple is officially dating, there's always "that girl" who calls your boyfriend a stupid nickname or hangs on your man when she's drunk. And as every female knows, "that girl" is not your friend.

But on a campus where many may be in "open relationships," if you signed up for it, then don't cry over the uncertainty and drama that will surely follow. Don't cry when other women get to go make out with your guy in a hot tub with a glass of wine. And if you don't want to go on a six-person date with someone, then give yourself some respect and have a little monogamy talk.

So I ask you, if you're stuck in an "open relationship" without an end-of-the-season proposal deadline, then what's the point? The only things you get in a situation like that are drunk phone calls, a 2 a.m. work-out and a walk of shame the next morning. Sure, maybe you "live in the now" and just have fun with people, but the only one who has successfully lived in the now as an old man is Hugh Hefner. And there can only be one Hugh Hefner on this planet at a time.

Regardless of whether you are slutty or scared, spend the time to seek out the few good ones and then pick someone. You'll find a bit more respect (more than a bunny), less drama (no swatting competitors off your bachelor) and possibly a real relationship.

Aubre Andrus is a senior double majoring in journalism and communication arts. She guesses that Susan, Sarah B. and evil Moana will be the finalists on "The Bachelor" with Susan winning. And then she and Travis will break up 2 months later. She can be reached at [email protected].