“This is the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house and have their lives taped. Find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real!”
Yeah, if by real you mean being stalked by endless video cameras for five months in Vegas. This season’s “The Real World,” shot at a resort in Las Vegas, is most definitely “The Real World” gone bad. What happened to casting members that have personalities or people we could relate to? This season of “The Real World” is anything but real.
Haven’t had the chance to watch these ever-so-entertaining episodes? Here’s the lowdown on what you’re not missing.
Episode 1: In this episode we meet the seven strangers. Trishelle, the so-called young, sweet and innocent girl from Louisiana informs us that Las Vegas is often referred to as “Sin City,” so “there must be a lot of sin there.” Wow, one minute into the show and we have already been introduced to the most intelligent cast member.
Steve is 22 but working on getting divorced from his wife he married three-and-a-half months ago.
Arissa is a young African-American woman from the projects. All she talks about this episode is her boyfriend and how much she hates the projects and how she can’t go back to the projects and about how awful life is in the projects. Did I mention she lives in the projects?
Frank is from a small town in Pennsylvania, and the hardest decision in his life has been which Ivy League college to attend.
Irulan, also with a boyfriend at home, knows immediately she will have a great bond with Arissa, but it has nothing to do with race.
Then there is Alton, who comes to us from San Diego, California. He loves to rock-climb, play the violin and work out in a girl’s sports bra. Although he won’t admit it, he is gay.
And least but not last, we meet Brynn, the “party animal” and “troublemaker” of the seven.
Brynn likes Steve, but Steve doesn’t like Brynn. Frank is in love with Trishelle because she is so innocent and hot (he’s already seen her naked). Trishelle thinks she might like Frank and thought Steve was cute until he opened his mouth. Trishelle knows that she will make out with Brynn by the end of their stay.
Steve tells Brynn he is not attracted to her at all and Brynn, obviously in love with Steve, looks as if she is going to cry.
The next morning, the boys are working out, or pretending they are, and Steve assures Frank that Trishelle “digs” him and he has nothing to worry about.
Episode 2: Sexual energy is a-flyin’ and a hearts are a-broken — just two days later. The group is at Rain, a dance club in Palm’s Resort. Frank and Alton are at the bar, Trishelle and Steve are playing tonsil-hockey on the dance floor. Frank is sitting on the couch in the next room when both Trishelle and Steve enter and decide to make out in front of and on top of Frank, with Steve’s ass in Frank’s face.
Steve’s excuse for back-stabbing this friend he met two days ago: “I’m drunk!”
Back to the infamous 28th floor: Trishelle is hopping around in her “nightie” (black lingerie) and jumps in bed with Steve. Brynn grabs a handful of condoms and places them outside their door. INSERT COMMENT HERE.
Episode 3: Brynn, jealous that she isn’t getting play from Steve, decides to spice things up and jumps into the shower with Trishelle. Moments later, Trishelle is hopping around in a new nightie and is again in bed with Steve.
They are once again at Rain, and Brynn starts to make out with Trishelle. The scene is fast-forwarded to a hot tub with Trishelle, Steve AND Brynn on top of each other. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right?
Episode 4: “The Real World” cast members receive their full-time job: throwing parties. “Work at 8 a.m.?! But I’m a party animal,” Brynn cries, as she pukes from her hangover during their first orientation.
The morning starts with the cast going around the room and describing themselves with one word, starting with the letter of their first name. Frank has a hard time spelling out his name and yells something like “awesome” while Steve chants “stupid” and “slutty.” At least someone’s honest.
Episode 5: Since Frank is from a small city in Pennsylvania, he doesn’t think that calling Arissa the “black bitch” of the house would be disrespectful. Arissa tells the confessional, tells her roommates, but doesn’t confront Frank. So now Frank has Alton in his face about it, and then Arissa gets in Alton’s face for not letting her get in Frank’s face first (say that three times fast.)
Then it’s their first night on the job and everyone gets trashed with their boss, Marc.
The next morning, Irulan calls her boyfriend and confesses that her boss was hitting on her all night, but not to worry — it was all “innocent fun.” Probably embarrassed about his nature the prior evening, Marc holds a conference with the seven and lectures them that there will be no drinking on the job — only if he offers.
Episode 6: Trishelle and Steve get it on at Rain. As Trishelle dances with Steve, she says it is like “nobody else is in the room.” Maybe that’s because she can’t see with her tongue down Steve’s throat. She says there is a connection between the two of them — she loves the way he makes her feel and he loves the way, she, err … feels.
But as girls’ rules go, the more you can’t have someone, the more you want them (boys, take note). So, Brynn, feeling that the two flaunt their relationship, tells Alton, Frank and the crew about her immense jealousy. Really? We couldn’t tell.
As Steve is talking with Alton, he starts to scream at their slow computer. “That’s not going to help it,” screams Brynn from across Las Vegas. Alton and Steve start snickering because they have no idea why she’s getting involved or where she even was in the house, when suddenly Brynn chucks a fork into the room, pointy end first, and stabs Steve in the right shoulder.
“That could have hit him in the eye!” screams mother Alton, as Brynn and Steve are going at it, being held back by Arissa and Irulan. Names are called, punches thrown and Steve screams out, “Yo, I may be a slut but you’re a slut AND a whore!” Um, good one. Every other word in the fight is censored and I wonder if maybe I’m really watching an episode of “The Osbornes.“
Steve immediately calls the “Real World” producer and tells her Brynn must go. Brynn cries it was all out of jealousy of Steve and Trishelle’s relationship. Steve lectures to Brynn, “this is not elementary school.” God, I hope not. All this nudity, sex and drinking in elementary school? But then again, this is MTV.
Amusingly, throughout this mess Irulan comments, “See, this is why nobody should be hooking up in this house.” Honey, but then what would we talk about and why else would anyone watch this season’s “Real World?”
At the end of the episode, Arissa convinces them to “talk” out their problems and Steve agrees. After the talk Steve confesses, “She’s like I was when I was 19 or 20 — just a young kid with problems.” Uh, okay, old man river. You’re only one year older.
And just like that, Brynn can stay.
Tune in tonight for episode seven. Maybe this time Brynn will throw a spoon at Trishelle or maybe Alton will get with Steve. Everyone else has.
Nina Balistreri ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in strategic communication.