Fear not citizen, this is for your own protection! This line of reasoning is heard time and time again from our local government officials who feel it is their duty to think up new and better legislation to protect the ignorant masses from their own ineptitude. The brilliant minds at City Hall have come up with a plethora of ways to prevent us from harming ourselves, from smoking bans to outlawing trans fats.

Your life, they reason, will be much better if they are able to dictate every aspect of it. This way we will not fall prey to ourselves, and we can continue on as productive members of a society that will create tax revenue to pay their salaries. Big Brother is alive and well in Madison, and he is growing larger, unimpeded by the very real consequences that he casts upon average citizens.

Madison seems to take joy in taking away all personal responsibility. It already has ordinances restricting smoking, drinking, food-to-drink ratios in restaurants and even bar specials. What is left for the city to regulate? It seems as though our homes are the new target for the quasi-fascists running city government. Now it seems they must keep us safe in our homes. If it passes the City Council, a new law will require sprinkler systems be installed in all new Madison residences.

The goal of protecting us from fires is admirable, but the idea of forcing private citizens into paying thousands more for their own safety is flawed. What is wrong with allowing individuals to put fire alarms or a sprinkler system into their houses if they choose? Legislation does nothing but limit our choices. Governments have a funny tendency to make many laws and commissions that never go away, but rather expand and develop into a byzantine network, which ties up all new developments in our society. We must do everything we can to resist this, but as most can plainly see, it is well under way.

Now we are not blameless, as we did after all do most of Big Brother’s work for him. Facebook, blogs, MySpace and other online tools have made George Orwell’s worst nightmare a reality. Police and university officials have a cornucopia of different sources to find out little tidbits they have no business knowing. Even we, the citizens, are duped into helping Big Brother more than we’d like to admit. The Madison Police Department, for example, routinely spies on parties publicly listed on Facebook, and have been known to play the role of the uninvited party crasher with or without cause.

This past year at the Mifflin Street Block Party, we started a petition to allow bands to play without fear of noise ordinance violations. When we presented it to the police, we were given the cold shoulder. It seems as though they are not here to serve, but to protect us… from ourselves. Petition signers, ourselves included, received unannounced and unwarranted visits on the day of the party. It was only through an open records request to the city that we discovered our petition (which many of the student residents of Mifflin signed) became the official list of houses to investigate during the day of the Mifflin Party. It is a scary thought that Madison would secretly attempt to stifle political action through this sort of retaliation.

When did we become citizens willing to give up all personal choices and privacy to some government entity and not ourselves? How have we come to accept government rebukes of free speech and expression? For too long we have been under the belief that if something is wrong or bad for us it should be banned and outlawed. What personal responsibility exists if we have a choice between grapes or apples but not whatever we feel like eating? Unless we have the legal ability to make bad choices, we have no personal responsibly or freedom. But then again bad choices could have destructive ends and maybe we need the government looking out for us. In fact, perhaps we should install cameras in the new home sprinklers to make sure that we can have a friendly set of eyes watching us and keeping us safe day and night. Just a thought.

Overall, all you really need to do is smile. Madison is watching…

Sol Groskopf ([email protected]) and Tom Wangard ([email protected]) are seniors majoring in education and international business, respectively.