Now that fall registration is well under way, I have a confession to make: I am addicted to the online timetable.

I came to this realization March 17, 2003. On that day, I found myself awake at 8 a.m., eager to delve into the depths of the new fall timetable. Not only was this the day the new timetable came out, but, more pathetically, it was the first day of spring break. Sad, I know. Yet despite the early hour and the very fact that I was supposed to be on break, I actually enjoyed myself. A lot. It was only when I crawled back into bed some three hours later that I began to suspect that I might have a problem.

After I hit rock bottom that morning, I started to take a deeper look at my addiction. I admittedly check the timetable at all hours of the day. It is the first thing I do when I get up and the last thing I do before I go to bed. I check it more than I do my e-mail. There are 167 departments listed on the online timetable, and I know most of them like the back of my hand. I can ramble off the names and times of classes in majors completely unrelated to my own. I could help most students at this university map out a perfect schedule in ten minutes and their entire academic career in less than an hour.

I can picture my roommates reading this right now, rolling their eyes in disgust and despair. They know better than anyone how deep my obsession runs. And because of me, all three of them grow nauseous at the mere sight of the online timetable. One of my roommates even reverted back to the old paper timetable because, as she put it, she “just can’t stand to look at that webpage anymore.”

Much like the old saying, “Late people are much jollier than those who must wait for them,” timetable addicts like me fully enjoy ourselves while simultaneously driving everyone around us completely nuts. After all, friends and roommates are the ones who must sit idly by and witness the insane behavior that is our favorite pastime.

Admittedly, there have been some good things that have come out of my addiction. I have managed to get into several classes that were closed when I registered by simply watching the timetable like a hawk until that one lone seat opened up. I even managed to get one of my roommates into a very small math class (the exact discussion she wanted, I might add) using this process. Of course, I nearly pummeled her when she walked in the door as I frantically screamed “Your math class is open! You have to register now!” but she did get into the class and she had only me to thank. Ahhh … those were my glory days.

While my behavior may sound crazy, I know that I am not alone in my feverish obsession. I think we all know someone who’s a little overenthusiastic about the timetable. A friend that I rode home with once told me how her roommate left her Post-It notes asking her to check how many seats were left in the classes she wanted while she was away at, well, class.

And although my roommate’s boyfriend is graduating this spring, he still checks the timetable regularly. He sent my roommate different versions of schedules (with each class color coded), so that she could see what her schedule would look like with varying lecture times and discussion sections. He even sent her course descriptions via instant messenger of classes he thought sounded interesting.

But the one addict who takes the cake is a friend of a friend who actually rigged his computer to automatically hit “submit” every 10 minutes in case the class he was interested in happened to open up. No lie. I don’t know enough about computers to know how to set such a system up, but that boy is my idol.

Before anyone becomes too frightened by my ranting, I want to point out that I think there is a very simple explanation for why people get so caught up with the timetable. Because classes are limited and the number of seats in each is limited even more so, people become obsessed with trying to get into the classes that they need and want. And when department chairs and professors can’t get you into a class, what better tool to use than the online timetable? It is an easy way to check seat availability and is always just a mouse click away.

And don’t pretend you’ve never been obsessed with the timetable on some level. We’ve all repeatedly checked the number of seats open just before our registration time. It’s just that most people stop checking the timetable after they register. I, on the other hand, continue to doggedly peruse the timetable year-round.

As the semester winds down, I am saddened by the fact that fall registration is nearly over. Although I will continue to check the timetable over the summer and well into the fall (okay, I’ll actually continue to check it until the new timetable comes out), I have promised my roommates that I will try to get a handle on things. And I will … but just let me check the timetable first.

Kari Bellingham ([email protected]) is a sophomore majoring in journalism.