Local frat boy Brody decided he needed a bit of a shake up in his daily goings on. Not only this, but upon taking his longtime situationship, Britney Ann, out for what only he would define as a date, he patted his pockets and truly found he was without money.

After losing Britney Ann after she thought this was a classic “Whoopsie, now you gotta pay” ruse, Brody desperately searched for a way to come up with some money, and quickly. 

After even the automated Indeed application services weeded him out because his only work experience was selling the most popcorn as an Eagle Scout back in grade school, he had to go back to his roots. One night while he was tossing and turning, not able to develop an idea, he rolled over and saw that his racecar alarm clock displayed the time: 3 a.m.

And huzzah, boom, bam, shabooya, the million dollar idea was hatched. Just like the videos he had watched in his youth of adventure-seeking YouTubers staking out a venue to stay a full 24 hours at, Brody recognized in the brand of magical clarity only reserved for an epiphany, that this was his golden opportunity. Those videos raked in the kind of numbers which made your eyes have dollar signs superimposed on them and the sound effect of “Cha-ching” ring out from the ether. 

Here’s what the documented findings are from the WeVideo draft of the video Brody made which somebody leaked online after he left his laptop unattended at State Street Colectivo during an afternoon rush. The following has been tremendously abridged because sincerely, Brody, in all of his filmmaking integrity, did let his camera roll for precisely 24 hours straight.

6 PM: Entering and setting up camp 

“Wazz up, bruh?” Brody asks rhetorically to the unanswering camera of his IPhone 17 Pro Max and imagined audience. “Sha, ha, ha,” he instinctively sounds afterwards- a seemingly involuntary speech pattern which is simply irreproducible, but sounds like a guttural chortle.

For the remainder of this transcription of findings, please let the record show (because the record keeper does NOT want to be record keeping all of the innumerable instances) that he emits this sound nearly after every statement. Moving on… 

“Like, yah, so, I’m going into College Library as we like speak. I’mma do that 24 hour challenge that all those old YouTubers did. All I have to prepare me is this case of Celsius my mom Instacarted me for my troubles. Shout out, ma.” He smiles squarely and shows the camera his Celsius bounty. 

Making his way into the building, he looks in either direction as though a character at a crossroads in a dire situation: one direction meaning safety and the other, certain death. Without explanation, he heads right, into the vicinity of the exalted Open Book Café. 

Loudly, he sets his supplies down with a decisive crash onto one of the elevated booths. Panning the camera the other way, as he rustles through his supplies like a pack rat, we see that there is another person already sitting there. They look at him, tacitly shouting, “Are we for real right now?” and then roll their eyes and swiftly take off for another seat. When he turns his back, they’re gone, he never even knew they were there. 

Taking up the camera, and looking down at it with the same angle as the Kubrick stare, Brody goes on to state: “Like, thank you Mom again, because like, I could not even get food for this experiment if I didn’t have Wiscard money. So, thank you, I couldn’t do it without you.” 

7 PM: Time to settle in 

Upon trudging up to the Open Book Café, Brody thought long and hard about what he wanted to get to tide him over for the mighty 24 hour span. Luckily, his Mom put in enough money so that he might as well have a Flex Dining plan. Naturally, he got two of everything on the menu. 

“Mmm, this buffalo cauliflower is good eatin’!”, he declared, having made a bib out of two pages ripped out of his Biology textbook, tucked into his UnderArmor shirt. “I’mma, like, get down to business and get some work done and wait until everybody else leaves, okay guys?” Dabbing his lips with said bib, he opened his computer and began to work.

8-9 PM: Busy, busy bee that is Brody 

“BRUH?!” Brody exclaimed loud enough to have everyone look at him in an ingeniously incorporated wide shot. “When are these people gonna leave? Y’all actually stay here for this long?” He rolled his eyes and grunted in exasperation at the sheer lunacy of people working for more than an hour. After a viewer has established Brody’s emotional status, their eyes can’t help but to travel down to the 20 emptied red baskets with crumpled parchment paper in them: the aftermath of Brody’s insatiable appetite.

Beating his chest, he lets out an extremely loud burp which once again makes everyone whip their head around. “Bro, I guess I’ll like continue with my own work, but my heart like hurts, like OUCH, man.” He clutches his chest. 

Besides the obliterated food baskets, one can count—and this is just in frame, mind you—five Celsius cans fully flattened and scattered around his “workspace”. He continues to work, although a source who is close to Brody (it was Britney Ann) weighed in and described that he probably was composing dissertation-length Letterboxd reviews on Quentin Tarantino films. 

10-1 AM: Honk shoo, time to get some rest in

When the next hour lapsed, despite consuming a record amount of stimulants in a few short hours, Brody promptly fell asleep. His snores are a concerningly high decibel over the course of the non-descript hours which pass by, threatening to shatter not only the audio capacity of his phone, but the glass of the screen. A pool of Celsius suffused drool collects underneath where he has laid his head for the night. Plenty of times, other students passing by duck into frame to wave or do a TikTok dance and then cackle with self-satisfied laughter. A janitor passes by, not evening paying the sleeping bro any mind. Eventually, the lights eventually go completely off, leaving Brody in a cloak of darkness. 

2-3 AM: Ooky spooky hour 

The footage still rolls on, ever so boringly to most viewers, but to a tasteful film-goer, rivetingly. It implicitly promises that action is soon to come. In the background, only somewhat lit by the still-running I-Phone camera, there is some activity. However, one can understand that Brody is the single, solitary soul in the library. Even the janitors and front-desk workers have long since vacated… for fear of what awaits them if they were to stay any longer. 

Around the 3:00AM mark, flickering and whooshing behind Brody is an orb. It moves rapidly, and then zips back and circles around Brody’s sleeping head. Suddenly, it dematerializes. Just as suddenly, a pair of inky black hands with uncannily long fingers curl over the back of the booth. Gradually, the hands extend for Brody, enveloping around his shoulders and head. As they further extend, a terrifyingly distended and ghoulish face appears as being connected to them. Its eyes only reflect slightly in the i-phone camera beam, soulless. The ghoul then unhinges its jaw, revealing a maw with jagged teeth, and it contorts itself inhumanly to take a bite out of poor Brody. 

Just as soon as its teeth make contact with Brody’s low taper fade, the ghoul is bonked over the head with what one can make out, from the grainy footage, to be a flamingo figurine from Bascom. Hissing at being taken away from its 3:00AM snack, it slinks behind the abyss of the booth. The lights snap back on. Brody wakes up in a start. “HUH?! Who’s there?” His eyes barely open, his expression searching. Then his eyes widen with fear, his mouth agape. 

4-4:30 AM: Discussion time

After Brody’s little cat nap, he was confronted with one of the most formidable sights that all of UW’s campus has to offer: Tunnel Bob. Yes, after Brody somehow was able to set up one of the most clean split diopter shots in all of cinematic history of him and the ghoul that found him uncannily-long-finger-licking-good, Tunnel Bob made a guest appearance. Tunnel Bob was responsible for saving him from the claws of the ghoul, by way of Bascom flamingo figurine.
Offering him his last Peach Vibe Celsius as literally the “least [he] could do”, Brody then proceeded to have a thirty minute dialectical dialogue with fellow interlocutor, Tunnel Bob. Unfortunately, the audio of this conversation is lost to time, similar to the incineration and resulting irrevocable loss of all of the knowledge of the Library of Alexandria. The last thing viewers ever see of this historically momentous encounter is Brody dapping him up, which proves to be an awkward challenge due to Tunnel Bob’s eclipsing stature. 

5-6 AM: Time to explore, then depart

Having figured he squandered most of his challenge, Brody rubbed his hands together and made his way up to the second floor of the building. “Guys, I’ve never even been up here, y’know? I think I had a class once, but like, I don’t even know,” he whirled the camera around to panoramically take in the grandeur of the landscape of the second floor. 

Going into the silent-zone of that floor, Brody then proceeded to yelp and call out. “They aren’t gonna do anything about it.” Then, in what one can only assume is stimulant-driven, food overstuffed, and adrenaline-pumped frenzy, Brody started flipping tables and pulling chairs out so that they were now crooked. He then pushes the bookshelves over and throws books out, as though a manic version of that scene from Tangled, sans the long, trailing hair, and the chameleon companion. 

Around the 5:30 AM mark, Brody talks back to the camera, “I- What have I done?!” A character arc in a matter of an hour. The library really does make one lock in. Brody then desperately tries to clean up his messes. In fact, he even goes up to the third floor and spends the last remaining thirty minutes to speedily ensure that all of the books are alphabetized. He has to sing it out loud for himself upon reaching each book, so he only manages to organize approximately 1 and a half books. Hey, he tried his best. 

When the first early-riser of the day comes in through the doors, Brody’s blood-shot eyes threaten to burst and he scampers into a corner. Waving him off, he suddenly remembers where he is, what he’s doing, and that this was a completely voluntary experience to begin with. “I’mma, like, go or whatever. Thanks for watching,” he says, as he throws on his backpack and tries to quell his eagerness to take his leave from this venture. 

Takeaways from this revelatory monument of cinema

Although this footage was leaked before Brody could go over it in editing mode in his free version of WeVideo, the fact that it appeared to be found footage made the video all that much more viral. As it stands now, Brody is climbing the digital fame ranks and promises to be at Mr. Beast level in no time. Soon, the Sir Brody Burger will also have its own DoorDash ghost kitchen option in the app, no delivery fee. 

This newfound fame is not without its drawbacks, though. Many contest that Brody’s footage is not legitimate and was somehow cobbled together through the extensive use of cutting edge AI, one source citing, “That ghost looked a little too much like a Snapchat filter. I ain’t afraid of no Snapchat filter- except when the tongue suddenly shoots when using that dog one.” Brody takes this all in stride, knowing that his footage is entirely organic. 

To address the burning question, yes, Britney Ann was won back by Brody’s immense courage. She cried out, “Of course I’ll be the girl you only take to frat formals and see once every few weekends!” They lived happily ever after-ish. It was later revealed that Britney Ann was the one who leaked the footage, knowing that it would gain more traction if classified as found footage.

So, is it Brody or Britney Ann who should be accredited for this trailblazing masterpiece of a film? Who is the auteur here? That is a question for the ages, that scholars will tirelessly devote their entire academic careers to the pursuit of trying to ascertain. They will have earned their PhD in the Brody 24 Hour Challenge.