The Oscars just took place, and if I had to guess, some people won and more people lost. Personally, I’m more concerned with what everyone was wearing than with which bloated, 3-hour-long montage of Dutch angles and tearful monologues took home Best Picture. I’m handing out the real awards: Best and Worst Dressed of the 2026 Oscars.
In an all-white Givenchy ensemble, Timothée Chalamet looked like a guy who aggressively dances at you at a bar while maintaining uncomfortable eye contact. In some photos, he’s sporting black sunglasses, because every toddler knows that wearing sunglasses inside automatically makes you cool. I’m telling you, something’s been off about this guy since he met the Kardashians.
Meanwhile, Best Actor winner Michael B. Jordan’s look is a welcome departure from the typical getups of male Oscar attendees. His all-black Louis Vuitton suit is equal parts classy and modern, featuring lots of uniquely androgynous details like polished onyx buttons and a dainty silver chain. It’s fresh and different, but it’s not off-putting.
Speaking of off-putting … Pedro Pascal’s massive brooch looks like a bleached sea urchin, and it’s staring at me. But somehow, he pulls it off, although it’s a little terrifying to see him without a mustache. Put it back!
For some reason, feathers seem to be trending in luxury fashion, and on this year’s Oscars red carpet, feather gowns were worn with varying degrees of success by some high-profile actresses. Someone needs to clip the wings of Nicole Kidman’s stylist, because the actress’s feathered peplum Chanel gown looks like the reanimated corpse of a dead ostrich.
Demi Moore’s dramatic ensemble is a bit better, although it’s adorned with so many black feathers that I’m afraid it’s going to start cawing at me. That’s not the case for Teyana Taylor’s crystal- and pearl-encrusted Chanel gown, which features a tasteful array of black and white feathers so she looks more like a 1920s flapper than a dead fowl.
Other women in attendance played it safe with less daring accoutrements, like Emma Stone’s silver Louis Vuitton dress and Anne Hathaway’s black floral Valentino gown. They looked lovely as ever, but I’m a bigger fan of getups like Misty Copeland’s structured black blazer, which is made more interesting by a layer of tutu-inspired tulle. It’s an intriguing combination of masculine and feminine elements that’s becoming less and less common as traditional femininity continues to rise in popularity.
Well, they’re playing the cutoff music, so I’ll add just one more thing before my time is up: It’s truly heartening to see that, even as America is more polarized than ever before, we can all agree that Kevin O’Leary — yes, the “Shark Tank” guy who spanked Timothée Chalamet — looked insane and should never set foot on the Oscars carpet again. Thank you, Academy!
