I hear you’re in a new relationship. I also hear you have Instagram. Well congratulations! These two qualities make you eligible for the classic Instagram relationship launch, or the delicacy of the art that is the Instagram relationship reveal. In an era where a relationship isn’t “official” until it has survived the scrutiny of your followers and the judgment of your exes, the way you introduce new developments in your romantic life is nothing short of a high-stakes performance.

Stuck on where to go from here? You’re in luck. Here are eight classic approaches to sharing your mediocre partner online that you hopefully won’t have to archive after they cheat on you.

1) The veiny hand at dinner: Do you relish in the idea of being perceived as mysterious? Does your estranged aunt follow you on Instagram? Then this is the perfect option for you. With the veiny hand at dinner, your followers will be sure to know a) you’re in a relationship and b) said partner in this relationship occasionally works out. Ideally, the hand should be casually resting next to a half-eaten bowl of pasta or a slightly overpriced cocktail to signify that you are being courted. It provides just enough biological evidence of a human male to pique interest without giving away a single facial feature. Helpful hint: have them excessively squeeze their hand multiple times before the photo to increase veiny-ness.

2) The bold selfie: This one is up-close and personal. For experienced soft-launchers and people whose significant others are at least a 5 or above on the attractiveness scale. It’s a high-risk, high-reward strategy: use with caution.

3) The casual photo of your partner mixed in with your friends: Are they romantically involved with you, or just part of the friend group? Are they standing away from your friends because they’re socially awkward or because they’re respecting you? No one will know. Leave your followers to wonder.

4) The “material girl”: Post only the flowers and coffee they dropped off at your house– no face included. Bonus points if their name is on the coffee. Adding in a glimpse of their hand or shoulder: optional. With this option, you’re selling a lifestyle of princess treatment, where the partner is essentially a faceless courier of caffeine and tulips.

5) The birthday post: Pretend your significant other exists only when they turn another year older, or occasionally on anniversaries. Make people wait an entire year to figure out if you’re still together.

6) The family photo: This one says “yes I’m dating this person, and yes their family likes me”. Forget the drama of people wondering “are they really good for you”, and prove it. You wouldn’t be hanging around Grandma if you were dating a loser (hopefully).

7) The mirror selfie: Force your partner to pose at least ten times in a random mirror you came across in a very public space. Brownie points for full authenticity if your significant other looks extremely annoyed, and you look amazing in the one you choose to post. After all, social media should reflect real life; live in your truth.

8) The “uncomfortably freaky”: Unfollow all close family members, and pose up next to your partner in a way that perfectly borders the line between appropriate for Instagram and “your account is getting banned”. Potential options include their hand on your neck (gross), or you guys kissing, but way too close (arguably even grosser). Hey, there’s a “soft launch” for everyone, okay.

So whether you go for the “hard” or “soft” launch of your new romantic development, choose wisely from one of these eight options. May your relationship last longer than your highlights.