Eric says:
He's got the tights. He's got the attitude. He's got the perfect guy to lead him down the aisle to the ring. It'd only be right if Terrell Owens' next profession were that of professional wrestler.
Remember when wearing tights was the biggest worry of Eagles' head coach Andy Reid? He probably doesn't — there have been too many issues since then — but there was a time, back in the day, when there was a stink because Reid made Owens wear shorts over his tights at practice.
Why not put those tights to good use with a profession in the WWE? He could even make it ironic and call himself Terrell "The Eagle" Owens, come out wearing wings, fly off one of the corners and use his talons (fingernails) to gouge the eyeballs of the meaningless prey in the ring.
It's not like he would be the first NFL football player-turned-wrestler. Remember when Lawrence Taylor and Steve "Mongo" McMichael showed up at Wrestlemania XI?
He's got the perfect attitude for it, so he wouldn't even have to act. He could strut down ringside, get down and do some sit-ups and then just be as pompous and arrogant as he wanted inside the ring, and Vince McMahon would most likely pay him to do it.
He could even be an ambassador for wrestling by being the first pro-wrestler not on steroids.
Not to mention he could get Drew Rosenhaus to be the slick guy who walks him down to the ring before every match. Yet again, perfect guy for the job. Then again, what job isn't Rosenhaus good for — he gets guys a ton of money and saves little children from drowning all at the same time!
After Owens pinned his opponent, he could get up and flap his "wings" for his bird celebration and then pull a Sharpie out of his shoe and sign his victims' motionless body.
And if all else fails, he'd be the perfect guy to help McMahon bring back the XFL.
Tom says:
Let's see … T.O. apparently needs constant congratulation and attention. I mean, the man wants a huge production to be made out of his 100th touchdown catch? Yes, that's a hell of an accomplishment, but this is just the latest episode for Mr. Owens. Does he want to have his tushy patted and be told how special he is after every career milestone? Well, no. He seems to want that every time he does anything.
And, T.O. also likes to call out just about everyone in the league — even those on his own team.
So what kind of profession incorporates both of those? A rapper, of course. And who better to collaborate with than 50 Cent? 50 likes to call out anyone and everyone, and just imagine how great of a posse T.O. could put together. There's no way he'd ever have to deal with not being told how great he is.
Plain and simple, T.O. should become the 11th member of G-Unit. It's really the only logical solution. He's outspoken, brash and, most importantly, likes to show off a bare upper torso. And the latter is a key for anyone who wants to hang with 50. The two could pump out sit-ups together. Just imagine the words of encouragement.
Young buck, Lloyd Banks, Spider Loc, Sha Money XL … T.O. It just has a ring to it. Instead of having to rely on Donovan McNabb to get him the football, Owens will have constant love from Whoo Kid spinning records for him on tour.
This way, T.O. could talk crap about McNabb, Andy Reid and Jeffrey Lurie in a top hit rather than having to use the media as his outlet.
So …
Go, Go, Go, T.O. in the house — bounce, y'all already know what he's about.