With any luck, the dear costumed reader should be almost sober from Saturday, not yet entirely imbibed for Wednesday, and deep in thought about what famous person to dress up as for trick-or-treating. So in the spirit of Halloween, this week’s column humbly presents The People I Wouldn’t Want to Be, Even for One Night.
Any Michigan State Cornerback: As if Tyrell Dortch’s broken leg weren’t bad enough, he was apparently on the field in the first place because two other MSU cornerbacks had recently broken their feet. And broken bones just aren’t fun. So that’s right, Bobby Williams — don’t even bother offering me that full-ride football scholarship.
General Pervez Musharraf: At first, being the Pakistani leader does seem pretty appealing. In a dramatic yet bloodless 1999 coup, Musharraf’s army ousted the elected prime minister and accused him of hijacking the general’s plane by refusing to grant it permission to land. Since then, Musharraf has been establishing his legitimacy and picking up resumé-enhancing titles like chief executive, president and chairman.
And by most accounts, he seems like a pretty nice guy. As dictators go, he’s not ruthless. He speaks English. He’s charismatic and media-savvy. There’s even an underdog factor: He’s an immigrant and an ethnic minority in a majority-Punjabi officer corps. Some have suggested that he benefitted from his predecessor’s rather interesting but clearly unsuccessful policy of affirmative action aimed at weakening the army.
He traveled to India, he released the deposed prime minister from jail (alive) and he even earned an early endorsement, albeit not by name, from then-Governor Bush. In fact, Pakistan’s Supreme Court backed Musharraf unanimously, declaring his coup entirely constitutional and appropriate. Nothing establishes legitimacy quite like a Supreme Court decision.
But leading a nuclear power with some 130 million people — a nation locked in conflict with a neighbor with even bigger weapons and even more people — has not been without its challenges. In other words, even before Sept. 11, the general had his share of bad days. But my reluctance to don the Musharraf mask is grounded in the events since that tragic day.
As the eyes of the world began to shift from New York to central Asia, America’s one-time ally began to get a lot of attention, and its leader had little choice but to cooperate fully with the United States. But as much (or as little) as Musharraf may be celebrated and praised over here, he still has to live in Pakistan, a country where several influential religious leaders expressed what might charitably be described as a reluctance to cooperate with America.
It’s also where the Taliban, it turns out, had been something of a pet project of Pakistan’s powerful intelligence service, and where many citizens are visibly sympathetic to the Taliban and, by extension, al Qaeda. Extremists don’t seem to take too kindly to moderates, and Musharraf is most definitely a moderate in comparison.
Given the circumstances, it is understandable that Musharraf’s government was relieved when “only” a couple of people died in recent anti-American demonstrations in Karachi. But the military campaign continues, and as the weather gets colder, Musharraf’s seat is going to become much, much hotter.
PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat: I’ve got to admit, the guy does try. One may recall that immediately after the Sept. 11 attacks, he was shown on television donating blood for the relief effort, one of the more concrete gestures of solidarity. But for a man who has in the past been fairly comfortable with blood, he looked absolutely terrified.
And with good reason.
First, Arafat witnessed the power of Islamic radicalism. If such individuals and groups could eliminate the World Trade Center, they could certainly eliminate him were he to curry disfavor.
Second, Americans weren’t particularly pleased to see crowds of cheering Palestinians and are now asking just how close Arabic leaders are to their fundamentalist factions. Arafat suddenly looks a lot less warm and fuzzy.
Third, Israel now has the opportunity, if not the obligation, to solemnly, respectfully and tactfully tell America, “I told you so.”
The circumstances may be different, but the American public seems to sense that people who blow themselves up to kill others are suicide bombers irrespective of geography and cannot be tolerated.
Fourth, few in America or Europe seem to care quite as much about the details of the Palestinian conflict. Neither the assassination of an Israeli cabinet member nor the subsequent Israeli occupation of Palestinian areas were front page news over here.
And fifth, Bush has correctly explained that America is at war with terrorists and with those who shelter terrorists. Israel might as well express similar sentiments, and Ariel Sharon certainly knows war. Arafat is perhaps as surprised as I am to wake up every morning and not see Israel’s borders extending right up to Turkey.
Arafat must now wait to see whether it is the Israeli government or a radical Palestinian who runs out of patience first. His blood donation may have saved two lives, but it probably will not save his own.
Osama bin Laden: I’d explain, but he’s just not worth the ink.
