Like many things, sex is something that might eventually be taken for granted. When you are used to having as much as you want of it, whether it’s from a long-term relationship or a really good “friend with benefits,” the first few weeks without the “wild thang” are the most difficult.
Even with the help of Rosy and her five friends, or, for the ladies, double-clicking the mouse, this state of withdrawal from the two-person bedroom tango can be very frustrating, so why not try to relieve that frustration by sleeping with a stranger?
The art of the one-night stand is a highly advanced form of the dating game. It may seem impossible most nights, when you find yourself stuck at the bar at 2 a.m. grabbing your coat to go home alone, but it doesn’t have to be.
When your attitude matches that of 50 Cent and you are “into sex, not into making love,” and want nothing more than a good, relaxing night of sweaty, stress-relieving sex, there are a few strategies to follow; however, there are a few requirements for the people involved before we get to strategy.
First, both people must be willing and comfortable enough with sex to be able to enjoy a night of passion with someone that they have just met. Otherwise, there will certainly be larger problems than a lack of sex to deal with. There is a line between sexual player and sexual predator — the latter is the kind of person one should avoid being at all costs.
There are three general types of attitudes that people have toward the one-night stand. The first involves the people who either do not have sex or simply do not believe that the one-night stand is acceptable in any way, shape, or form.
There are also many people who will “fool around” but maintain the ideal that actual intercourse is absolutely not an option on the first night. However, there are also a number of people who are looking for the same night of crazy, “I don’t want to know your name” sex for the pursuit of happiness, or who are at least open to the idea.
It is likely that having a one-night stand is not the best way to start a long relationship, though stranger things have happened. It is important, then, to never be completely misleading. Honesty is really the best policy when it comes to the random hook-up, if you want to avoid the uncomfortable conversation that involves explaining you didn’t mean all the things you said and thought that there was a mutual understanding it was just a one-night fling.
If all that is desired is physical enjoyment, direct compliments at appearance, rather than emotional or character qualities. Saying, “you’re really sexy in that top, but it would look better on my floor” may be shallow, but it is less committal than, “I love that you are so sweet and caring.”
As an added bonus, if you receive a slap from the first compliment, at least you know where you stand. The compliment or pick-up line doesn’t even need to hint at sex, but the point is that by not letting your desired one-night stand misinterpret your advances as aiming for a relationship, the easier it is for both persons to leave the night as it was — a single night of fun.
As most people have learned to avoid those that come off as being desperate, it is also better to leave the person with whom you hope to hook up feeling like they want it more than you do. Yes, it is manipulative, but it allows the person to feel more comfortable and in control. As the conversation progresses, it should eventually lead to a sexual discussion, both to find out whether or not sex is okay and to get their desire to have sex with you into overdrive.
Once the mood is set and the desired person is “hooked,” expert players say to walk away. If your game was played right, the person will want to get your attention back and, more importantly, take you home.
If a one-night stand is in your future, remember that no DOES mean no — absolutely no exceptions. If a one-night stand is in your future, make sure it isn’t Custer’s last (STD-free) stand and wear a condom!
Questions, comments, or suggestions? E-mail them to [email protected].
