“Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right.”
This famous Woody Allen quote is something I have believed to be true since the day I first read it back in high school. Unable to think of an imaginative way to begin an English paper, I was searching the Internet for famous quotes when I came across this little gem.
I remember how taken aback I was that someone like Woody Allen, who I thought at the time was just a weird little man who acted in movies I’d never seen, could share the same opinions as me on sex.
Because sex is more fun when it’s dirty, isn’t it? It’s not like you ever see people in movies — or porn, for that matter — having ho-hum, standard missionary sex while screaming “Oh, yes!” over and over.
And if it’s not entertaining enough for the average movie connoisseur, why should it have any place in your bedroom?
While it’s just a fact that sex isn’t always going to be the intense, earth-shattering event that Hollywood presents it to be, the argument still stands that if you are going to take the time to engage in such a strictly pleasure-based activity, you might as well go all out.
And by going all out, I mean you should not allow the possibility of embarrassment, shame or even fear to get in the way of acting out your innermost desires.
Often our fantasies involve situations that could never happen in “real” life, so we suppress them instead of finding ways to bring that side of our sexuality out. This is not right.
So I propose the idea of role-play to you — not as a chance to reuse that maid’s costume from two Halloweens ago, but rather as an opportunity to release yourself from the restraints of sex, race, age and their ensuing stereotypes.
And who knows, you may even have an orgasm in the process!
Our society has very specific roles for males and females, but it can be an amazing release to reverse the gender stereotypes through role-play. Because of society’s fixed ideas about masculine and feminine behavior, it is often much easier for women to become dominant than it is for men to become submissive.
But the whole idea behind role-play is that you don’t have to follow these old rules. Role reversal allows you to experience the opposite of what you’re accustomed to, and the resulting vulnerability leaves you open to extremely intense feelings.
In fact, many psychologists use role-playing with patients to give the individual more insight into his or her own behaviors, as well as allowing the patient to “vent” the emotions that trigger such behaviors.
So with all this venting, releasing and emoting going on, it’s guaranteed you won’t have time to feel embarrassed, and you just might find you really like it. Role-play allows you to indulge in behaviors or activities you wouldn’t normally feel comfortable with, while at the same time revealing your innermost desires.
If you are concerned that the imagination and creativity necessary for this type of activity is beyond your capabilities, just remember that little kids do it all the time. Not in a sexual way, of course, but I’m sure most you played some form of “let’s pretend” while growing up, so you already have the necessary tools within you.
Plus, with the added bonus of sex, “let’s pretend” for adults can be very fun indeed.
Psychological benefits aside, role-play is also worth a try because it adds a little excitement to an otherwise run-of-the-mill sex life. As much fun as having sex with someone you know can be, wouldn’t it be exciting to bed your favorite movie star for a night?
Aroused by the stern glare of a police officer while he or she is writing you a ticket? Buy your partner some mirrored sunglasses and get to it.
In a survey for Cosmopolitan magazine, where men were asked to name their “favorite form of sexual role-play” with the women in their lives, 36 percent opted for “She’s the nurse.” Also popular were “She’s the hooker” (12 percent), “You’re the cop” (12 percent), “She’s the lion tamer” (10 percent) and “You’re the baby” (5 percent).
Females’ fantasies are quite different, naturally, and an article on AskMen.com about women’s top 10 sexual fantasies claimed the use of strap-ons, the idea of playing the naíve “virgin” and acting like a hooker were top turn-ons.
While all of these ideas may not necessarily appeal to you, the idea here is that role-play allows you or your partner to become anyone, be it lion tamer, hooker or baby.
Need more ideas for a raunchy game of dress-up? Playboy.com offered males the suggestions of TV anchorman, Arab sheik, blind genius, delivery boy, hunted guerilla leader and gynecologist.
For the ladies, there’s branch librarian, drill sergeant, high school cheerleader, senator, prison matron, wanted terrorist and suburban housewife, but there’s no reason you can’t swap the male roles for the female roles and vice versa.
In the end, role-playing should be something that both you and your partner are comfortable with, and it should be used as a way to expand the parameters of an otherwise average sexual existence.
And of course, when looking for costumes to wear on your next escapade, don’t forget to pick one up for the man doing all the action, if you know what I mean.
What do you think about the sexual stereotypes applied to men and women? Why are sexually active girls seen as “sluts” while guys are “players?” Do you think more women than men lie about their “number” as a result? E-mail me at [email protected] and let me know what you think.