Well, the Emmys are over. I have to say, they’re really giving the Grammys a run for their money in the “Awards chosen by nursing home residents” department. Now, while I know a lot are probably a bit miffed that Tina Fey was upset by Toni Collett or that Kristen Chenowith kept Amy Poehler at bay. Of course, there is the constant bafflement that is the “Lead Actor – drama” category: I understand the choice of Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad, but so did I last year. How can you say no to Don Draper? Or, for that matter, Hugh Laurie? When is that instant classic of a character going to get a nod from the Emmys? And when are you going to stop handing out three emmys (depending on if Cranston’s series is around long enough) to the same actor? I mean, at least as?penance?for James Spader.

Oh well. All of it, the whole ceremony pales in comparison to one of the most criminal Emmy choices I’ve seen.

Let’s set the stage: Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy.

Your nominees: The lovely host, Neil Patrick Harris, for his role in How I Met Your Mother. I’m not a fan, but I can understand the appeal and Harris’ Barney is the one character that makes me laugh. Then you have Tracy Morgan, ?for his essentially non-fiction role on 30 Rock. Excellent. Playing second banana at NBC is Jack McBrayer as NBC Page Kenneth Parcell. Not as insanely amusing as Morgan’s Jordan, but admirable in his own right. Rainn Wilson as Dwight Schrute? You need a certain kind of calm psychosis within your being to be able to manifest such a uniquely demented character. You deserve your weight in gold for such feats of mental illness. While Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon) from Entourage doesn’t exactly match up to these others, at least he’s got some depth.

Then there’s Jon Cryer. For Two and a Half Men — a show that represents some of the last vestiges of sitcom mediocrity. This is a show that scoots along a modern day “Odd Couple” premise with some cute fat kid inserted into the mix. Sheen’s the womanizer and Cryer is the neurotic that Sheen has to coax into living like a real man. Woo.?

It’s infamous for it’s poor quality. My roommate junior year used to sit down in the living room and watch it, laughing out loud. Not because it was funny, but because it’s attempts at humor were so utterly pathetic that he tuned in to see how incompetent comedy writers could be and still earn a paycheck. It’s like if you brought an invasive species from the Sahara into the Yukon Territories and then found it building makeshift igloos three years later rather than finding it’s dead carcass caught half frozen in a ravine somewhere. It should have perished long ago, but somehow, against all odds, it survives. And since it’s not exactly destroying anything in this godforsaken wasteland (CBS, home of franchised, acronymed, crime dramas for nerds), why put it down if it can still thrive?

Well, here’s why: Because Jon Cryer won the fucking Emmy. And when he accepted the award, he did it wearing a sweater vest more apt for a 45-year old high school history teacher than a man attending a nationally televised awards gala.?

And there he went, twitching and acting self-deprecating on stage while the rest of the crowd just stared at him, holding back their complaints.

Forget getting an award, how the fuck is your show still on? Charlie Sheen is a 9/11 for Truther for god’s sake! If it worked for Van Jones, what sort of kyrptonite do you require?

Comedy, apparently. See, Monday is Two and a Half Men’s day. It’s a full comedy lineup for CBS too. Not for any other network. ABC is busy Dancing With the Stars, Fox keeps pushing the Tim Roth drama “Lie to Me” and NBC has the EMT-based ER replacement (in spirit) “Trauma.”?

But even if CBS’s straight-laced sitcoms hold up pretty well for the most part, how does that pathetic retread stay in the lineup? Charlie Sheen killed Spin City — how does he succeed in this venture?

I don’t know, but I do know this: Cryer’s win is a travesty and should raise some eyebrows among any who consider the Emmys even slightly legitimate.