I’m not very good with women. I might even go so far as to say I’m absurdly bad. It may be that my frigid Northern origins are simply too awe-inspiring for the vast majority of the opposite sex. It may be that most of my efforts at intellectual banter are pirated from coffee table books and the 30 pages of “The Stranger” that I read in eighth grade. Then again, the most probable answer is the first justification — I’m uh, well, Canadian. In terms of sexiness, we rank right above Greenland.

So I can understand, on a limited level, the romantic frustration some inhabitants of the Sigma Chi fraternity house must feel on an almost perpetual basis. Women, damn them, have a magnificent propensity for being attractive, interesting and yet profoundly not interested. And as for the fraternity, my own interactions with the group have been admittedly limited. I have had the dubious fortune of seeing Sigma Chi’s members possessed by ridiculous enthusiasm while engaged in that game where the player throws a bean bag into a ramp-like object with holes on the top.

It seems incomprehensible that some of the same bovine but generally friendly seeming men playing with bean bags and listening to bad rap music were involved in an alleged collective rape, but the evidence appears irrefutable. A female student, who has understandably chosen to remain anonymous, said in an interview with The Badger Herald that she woke up in a room of the Sigma Chi house with her pants removed. She said when she woke up the next morning in her room she was bleeding. She then went to Meriter Hospital, where she was told by staff that she was raped, and that the individuals responsible probably took turns doing this to her. Unless staff members at Meriter Hospital come out and refute the woman’s claims or members of Sigma Chi can prove the incident did not happen in the house, the story should be considered valid. The Madison Police Department verified to the Herald that it is investigating the matter.

The individuals who did this are animals. With any degree of fortune and competence, the authorities will soon be putting these men into prison, where the same crime will be reenacted ad nauseum on its perpetrators.

But on a larger and more pragmatic scale, one should also be cognizant that it is a positive thing the Greek system exists. For students who have a sincere desire to meet like-minded peers and take pride in the values promoted by their respective organizations, fraternities and sororities provide an opportunity to do just that. And such upstanding people do abound. One can certainly question the necessity of paying excessive fees to meet those fellow upstanding peers or the idea that one should have pride in an organization simply because one lives and drinks excessively in a house that the group owns. But the fact remains — the Greek system has its value.

However, the Greek system also has incalculable value as a repository for the campus’ small minority of utter degenerates. Certainly fraternities are not alone, but they are capable of isolating large quantities of future criminals in one distinct and easily identified group.

For a long time after the publication of yesterday’s paper, Sigma Chi’s reputation at this university will be powerfully tarnished. Their ability to attract women to their social events will decline. Students looking to pledge a fraternity will look to organizations that have proven they are capable of treating women with a modicum of respect. It is not unlikely that the group’s charter will be revoked.

Whether or not this crime is representative of an isolated group of bad apples or the fraternity as a whole is irrelevant. Decent members of Sigma Chi should embrace the opportunity to clear their collective name by handing over the alleged perpetrators. Or, if the people responsible were among the individuals who rent uninhabited rooms of the fraternity’s building without being members of Sigma Chi, they should likewise be handed over to the authorities. Either way, it is not unreasonable for campus to look towards Langdon Street until evidence that contradicts the victim’s story is provided, and in this sense, that the perpetrators are allegedly concentrated in one building greatly aids the judicial process. This is the benefit of having any campus organization exist — they provide focal points upon which one can direct praise and outrage. Having this system in place should also theoretically benefit the investigation, as cooperative Greeks eager to preserve their reputations ignore the numerous gag orders imposed upon them and come forward with any information they may have.

As for my state of perpetual failure with women, fair enough. It only makes sense given my abominable abilities with my female peers. Then again, unwilling celibacy is undoubtedly preferable to a long — and very well-deserved — stay in prison.

Sam Clegg ([email protected]) is a sophomore majoring in economics.