Perhaps it is only fitting that with the month of October upon us, a local politician is launching a new effort to establish that long-sought-after dreamland of the "People's Republic of Madison."

Scariest of all, the new attempt comes courtesy of one of Madison's more moderate and usually sensible politicos: Ald. Zach Brandon. Teaming with NARAL Pro-Choice Wisconsin, Mr. Brandon introduced an ordinance this week that would require pharmacies in Madison to either sell emergency contraception or else post a sign alerting shoppers to where they may find it.

Speaking with The Badger Herald, NARAL Pro-Choice Executive Director Kelda Helen Roys described the rationale behind the ordinance: "We did a survey and found a quarter of Madison pharmacies don't stock emergency contraception, and women would have to shop around until they found it. Emergency contraception is very time sensitive, so this ordinance is especially important for students who don't have access to transportation."

OK, brace yourself. This is momentous. Kelda Helen Roys has just informed us that, without the help of her and Zach Brandon, people in need of a product might have to — brace yourself again — shop around to find it! Whoa. Ralph Nader just announced another bid for the White House after learning of such an affront to consumers' rights.

I'm kidding, of course. Three times was enough for Mr. Nader. And years and years of burdensome, anti-business measures (smoking ban, inclusionary zoning, etc.) should be enough for Madison, the city that's still determined to regulate the market into submission.

The bottom line — and surely Mr. Brandon, who owns the local laundromat Laundry 101, should know this — is that a business may sell whatever products it wishes. To regulate otherwise only serves to create market inefficiencies. If demand exists for a product, chances are the store will stock it. If demand exists but a business has a moral reason for not selling an item, it is well within its rights to forego the profit it would make.

Most movie rental stores, for example, could make some money by introducing an XXX section, yet there are numerous reasons why many do not do so. Nobody would require a retailer by law to keep the sleaze on their shelves, lest a customer have to "shop around" to find his porno.

There is one instance where governmental regulation of the goods and services a private business must provide is justified. Hospital emergency rooms must accept and provide emergency care to all comers, as refusal of service potentially leaves patients with the ultimate price tag. Few would argue against the necessity and merits of such a policy.

Emergency rooms are not to be confused with emergency contraception, however. The latter stretches the definition of "emergency" — Plan B, for example, works up to 72 hours after potential impregnation. Hence, Ms. Roys' characterization of the situation as "very time sensitive" is disingenuous, as such a time frame surely allows a person to locate one of the three-fourths of all pharmacies that stock the product in Madison. All someone has to do is get on the phone, call pharmacies, drive around — in essence, do what all consumers do when shopping for anything: find a seller who offers a product that meets his or her needs at an acceptable price. Then buy it.

Granted, Mr. Brandon and NARAL would only require the posting of signs and would not require a store to actually stock emergency contraceptives. Small kudos are in order for not following the state of Illinois's lead in adopting the latter regulation, though there is little question Mr. Brandon and NARAL's intent mirrors that of our neighbors to the south. Ms. Roys does not want to see "a bunch of signs" popping up, as she told the Herald. They merely want to shame, inconvenience, what have you, stores into carrying emergency contraception.

Yet a business should be under no obligation to direct customers to places where they can find items the store does not carry. A reasonable business will take such action on its own volition — it's just good customer service. And if a store chooses not to do so, it can deal with the backlash of not being helpful.

Why such basic economics continues to elude Madison's political elites is a sad mystery. The only sign Mr. Brandon needs is one for his eyes only, pointing him away from the People's Republic.

Ryan Masse ([email protected]) is the editorial board chairman of The Badger Herald.