President George W. Bush is a genius, the likes of which the United States has never seen — and likely won't ever see again.

But don't take my word for it. Instead, just ask the left — angry or otherwise — who lately can't seem to stop unwittingly lauding the president for his Texas-sized intellect.

First it was the Sept. 11 conspiracy folks, a radical faction that counts the University of Wisconsin's own Kevin Barrett among its "distinguished" members. They, of course, think Mr. Bush engineered the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington five years ago, somehow planning and carrying out the murder of more than 3,000 people without anybody noticing and without a single accomplice having second thoughts and going public with the conspiracy. Truly, only a mastermind of massive proportions could keep secret such an enormous operation.

Now it seems the Bush-as-genius perception is branching out to another, considerably larger grassy knoll. In a recent Gallup poll, 42 percent of respondents said they thought the Bush administration has "deliberately manipulated the price of gasoline so that it would decrease before this fall's elections."

Forget supply and demand, Middle East turmoil and the weather. It is Mr. Bush who single-handedly calls the shots in one of the largest and most volatile of global markets. Word is he's also close to wielding sole control over the Consumer Price Index, the Dow and the National League wildcard race — he's just that smart and powerful.

Talk about a perfect plot. Voters will simply fill their cars up with cheap fuel, drive to the polls and, in a sign of gratitude, re-elect Mr. Bush's GOP pals in Congress.

There's just one problem: like the 9/11 theory, the gas conspiracy makes no sense at all. No single company, much less a single man, can significantly alter gasoline prices. The market is just too big. Even OPEC doesn't enjoy the clout it once did.

And as White House Press Secretary Tony Snow recently quipped, "[I]f we're dropping gas prices now, why on earth did we raise them to $3.50 before?" The best way to solve any problem, after all, is to prevent it from happening in the first place.

There seem to be clear causes for the recent downtick in prices at the pump, none of which has to do with the president scheming with his oil industry buddies.

Prices normally go down at this time of year. Demand is low — summer is over and people are driving less, but it's not cold enough yet to raise heating costs. The hurricane season has been weak, leaving Gulf Coast refineries intact, unlike last year. The Israeli-Hezbollah war that ravaged the Middle East during the summer is over, restoring a semblance of stability to the region.

To be sure, Mr. Bush has been trying to reduce gas prices. He has supported drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska, and while whether it is worth disturbing a pristine Arctic environment to access the oil is certainly debatable, it is indisputable that increasing domestic supply while decreasing the demand for foreign oil would create a strong stabilizing force on gasoline prices. He has also supported increased use of ethanol in fuel blends, another way to one day decrease dependency on foreign oil.

But Alaska drilling remains a pipe dream, and in the short term, increased ethanol requirements only result in market shortages and higher prices. So Mr. Bush doesn't have much to do with the price drop, just like he had little to do with the prior price surges.

The theory that the White House is deviously behind the falling prices is yet another example of the left's irrational fondness of despising all things Bush, even when he has nothing to do with a particular issue.

Remember, liberals have lambasted the president for sitting idle while prices at the pump and oil-company profits both reached record highs in the past year. Since Mr. Bush was largely responsible for the price increases, surely he deserves credit with prices now on the decline, right?

Nope. Mr. Bush is never in the right. Either he's negligent when prices are high or complicit in a political conspiracy when prices are low.

At least he's smart, though. Any man who so easily manipulates global markets has to be. And for the left, unintentionally acknowledging Mr. Bush's genius — after a summer of painful trips to the pump — has to be the most painful blow of all.

Ryan Masse ([email protected]) is the editorial board chairman of The Badger Herald.