I must preface this article by stating that I am not, nor do I claim to be, a pillar of fashion. However, due to my East Coast upbringing, I think I have a far better idea of how to dress than those of you from the Midwest. My prep-school years and country-club lifestyle, along with a book entitled “A Gentleman’s Guide to Grooming and Style” by Bernhard Roetzel, have given me wisdom beyond my years in the area of what dress is proper in polite culture. I have taken it upon myself to give this campus two quick lessons in what is appropriate dress.

My first gripe about style on this campus is that socks are not seen as the accessory they are meant to be. Students seem to just run to their bureau and pull out whatever they touch first. Most people choose the white athletic sock because it is the most plentiful in distribution. I cannot stress enough that white athletic socks are never appropriate for any kind of leather shoe. Whether the shoe is a brown Doc Marten or a black Kenneth Cole, white socks are never to be worn with leather shoes. I see this faux pas every day, and it makes me angrier each time. Sock choice is an art; dark socks should always be worn with dark shoes. Sandals also should never be worn with socks. If you want your feet covered, wear shoes. Socks with sandals make you look like a jackass.

My second grievance revolves around belts. It is a shame that a man would ever think to leave the house without a belt. Pants have belt loops for a reason. Many men and women alike on this campus demonstrate what was once referred to as the “Wisconsin Tuck.” This poor style of dress is when a shirt, usually plaid or flannel, is tucked into belt-less pants and then pulled out and flared over the belt loops to the button of the pants. The mere thought of this atrocious fashion makes me nauseous. Also, belts should always match the color of one’s shoes. “Brown belts are worn with any shoe that can be classified as brown, including wine red ones,” writes Roetzel. By not matching the color of one’s shoes to belt the wearer is showing the world that their wardrobe was thrown together piecemeal. My last point about belts is that suspenders do not require a belt; wear one or the other, never both. Wearing suspenders with a belt makes you look like a rube.

I am merely trying to help people dress in a manner that is expected in polite culture. I hope that I have helped shed some light on what is and isn’t fashionable in this day and age. If you have any questions, I am always willing to impart my sartorial expertise to you, the uninformed Mid-westerner.

Trip Dale is a senior majoring in political science. He is a graduate of The Chestnut Hill Academy and is of the Philadelphia Dales.