Happy Hump Day! Welcome back to another semester of pillow talk from your two favorite sex columnists on campus. We’ve got some crazy stuff planned for this semester, so be sure to check in every Wednesday to see what we’ve got in store.
This week, to answer some of our trickiest questions yet, we’re both going to give you our opinions because, to be honest, we don’t always agree about the best way to answer your questions. Let’s get it on.
My current boyfriend refuses to have sex with me when I’m on my period, but one of my exes said it never bothered him (as long as the lights were off). Should I try to persuade my bf? How do guys really feel about having sex during a girl’s period?
Sam: I personally don’t mind having period sex (the wetter the sex, the better the sex!). But if your guy does mind it and you’re both still super horny, I have three suggestions for discreetness: Shower sex will wash everything right on down the drain, receptive condoms will contain the mess by keeping the fluids inside the vagina, and red or burgundy colored shower towels will hide it all when you lay that bad boy down and go to town.
Mary: Great suggestions! But I’d say that if your boyfriend really isn’t comfortable with having sex on your period, you shouldn’t try to persuade him. Instead, find other ways to touch and pleasure each other during those few days. Let him search the rest of your body for sensuous zones, or convince him to use a toy on you in the dark. That way, he doesn’t have to deal with the mess on his member.
Last semester, I was really attracted to my TA, but waited to act on it until after the semester ended. Over break, we had really great sex, and I started wishing I would have made a move sooner. My question: Is it ever okay to sleep with your TA?
Mary: Personally, I think you did the right thing by waiting until the semester ended – you wound up having a great time in the sack and avoided the potential shitstorm that could have arisen from the situation. If you ask me, once the semester’s over your TA is just another person who, like the rest of us, has sexual needs. Just make sure not to sign up for another class with that person as your TA.
Sam: I have to go with Mary on this one. Definitely a conflict of interest to sleep with a TA during the semester, but I’d say fair game once the grade hits Student Center. Ethically, you should probably wait until the semester is over regardless of UW policy. There’s just too much room for off-the-record pillow talk that would give you an unfair advantage – giving some extra editing attention to your work, hooking you up with professional connections, giving you answers to an exam. Of course, these are all things other students could ask their TA for, but your TA is more likely to offer it up to you willingly without you asking if he or she is sleeping with you.
As a dude, I would rather not have to shave “down there,” but I’ve heard that women prefer it. Is there some sort of universal standard for male pubic hair grooming?
Mary: Well, we can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve definitely heard girls say that it’s nice to be able to do work without pulling hair out of their teeth. When it comes down to it, I’d say that if you’re super, super hairy, just keep it under control. You don’t need to rush out and get a bikini wax, but you shouldn’t be able to get dreadlocks started, either.
Sam: No universal standard, but I prefer my dudes’ short and curlies to be trimmed but not shaved. There’s just something about untamed hair that is masculine and sexy. But guys, if you want your jewels to be licked or sucked, you might want to devote some extra manscaping time to that area.
Is it okay to go condom-less with a trusted partner?
Mary: Oh boy … depends. As someone who uses two forms of birth control, I’d say that if you and your partner are monogamous and share the same STI-status, then yes. However, if you’re in a heterosexual partnership and you’re trying to avoid pregnancy, then going condom-less is a no-no, unless you’re willing to take the risk.
Sam: My short answer is yes (as long as you’re not concerned about pregnancy). Going condom-less is called being fluid-bonded partners, and plenty of people do it and love it. But heed this warning: former Herald staffer Charlie Gorichanez did a campus-wide survey on the sex lives of UW students last year, and almost a sixth of us Badgers fessed up to having penetrative sex with someone other than their partner while in an exclusive relationship.
Is it OK for young, college-aged men who are sure they don’t want children to get vasectomies?
Sam: No, just no. I mean it is your reproductive right to choose to do whatever you want with your fertility, yada yada yada. But still … no.
Mary: Know any college students who have ever changed their majors?
‘Til next week, Badgers.
Open your email and send Sam & Mary your sex questions at humpday@badgerherald.com. Right now. K …Go.