While playing a pick-up game of volleyball the other night, I experienced a rude awakening: A friend of mine -who typically has a mild, friendly disposition – casually shouted, “Backhand that bitch!” after a team member spiked the ball with the back of his hand. I froze. “Did that really just happen”? I thought to myself. “Could someone drop such a sexually violent phrase without any apparent implications”? After the initial shock of the incident wore off, I realized just how influential those words were.
Even when used with a casual, harmless intent, the language our society invokes on a daily basis perpetuates sexual violence and our rape culture. How many times have you emerged from an exam and heard or exclaimed, “Wow, that test totally raped me!” By using language that normalizes the existence of sexual violence, the violence that pervades in our society is encouraged. The occurrence of rape, sexual harassment and mutilation is maintained through certain social situations, behavioral patterns and individual actions.
For example, when a guy refers to his friend as a “pimp,” he is inadvertently commending the actions of an individual who succeeds through physical and sexual domination. Also, when women use words like “slut” or “whore” as terms of endearment for their female friends, it sends the message to society that women don’t mind being labeled with such objectifying terms, which encourages their use.
Language acts as a catalyst for sexual violence in other ways. On a college campus, sexually degrading terms are used as frequently as a beer bong on game day – excessively and without question. By deeming women sluts, whores or bitches in both sexual and not sexual contexts, our society normalizes patriarchal values and gender inequality. When a woman is called a “slut,” she is dehumanized and objectified – two of the driving forces behind sexual violence.
What’s more, if a woman is labeled a “slut,” it is presumed she is always up for sexual acts; her consent is deemed unnecessary, which of course is never the case. In the event that woman is raped, people often blame the woman for having a promiscuous reputation – arguing she is “crying wolf” or “just feels bad for being such a slut” – instead of blaming the rapist for the assault. This not only leads to very hostile environment for a victim seeking help or justice, but also implies that a woman is doing wrong by being “promiscuous.”
The normalcy of language that connotes sexual objectivism and disrespect uncovers society’s seemingly casual stance against violence. The campaign against sexual violence will never succeed unless people first recognize the influence that their language has upon others around them, and second, actively choose to challenge the acceptance of this language.
In addition to society’s employment of sexually violent and degrading terms, the words we use to describe the physical act of sex are also destructive (nail, bang, screw, fuck, etc.). These words do not represent the mutual respect that belongs in a healthy, consensual sexual encounter. Rather, these violent terms convey sex as an individual act – something one person does to another. The next time your roommate comes home and exclaims, “I nailed that slut,” challenge yourself to stand up for that person: No one deserves to be referred to in such crude and violent terms.
Passive disdain for sexually degrading language and the violence it allows is not sufficient. Each individual must reflect upon his or her personal vernacular and decide to make a change. As our football opponents can tell you, the University of Wisconsin’s collective voice is strong. Let’s use this strength to speak out against social norms and the language that supports sexual violence.
Heather Sieve ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in English with a certificate in gender and women’s studies. She is a volunteer for Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment (PAVE).
PAVE is a student organization dedicated to ending sexual assault, dating/domestic violence and stalking on the UW-Madison campus through education and activism. For more information, visit UWPAVE.com or email [email protected].
