Autumn — the season of falling leaves, sweatshirts and everybody saying, “Wow, it’s getting so dark already!” Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. We live in the Midwest. Where were you the past 18 years?
But enough jokes. We at The Badger Herald recognize that autumn is a very stressful season, especially if you are a high school senior applying to college. There are so many applications to write, so many colleges to choose from — oh wait, no, there’s not. There’s only one true college in the United States, and that’s the University of Wisconsin.
Read this article to learn why.
Network with high status people
Building connections with people is very important for career development. The world loves that sweet, sweet nepotism. Luckily, UW boasts many influential people to help students build their clout.
Perhaps the most helpful person to connect with is Tunnel Bob. Not only can he aid in navigating the university’s underbelly, but he is so famous that he can bolster a resume significantly, according to UW alum and recent graduate Steve Hooker.
“Posting a selfie with Tunnel Bob on my LinkedIn profile helped me bag my dream job at Cosmic Delights,” Hooker said. “All thanks to UW.”
UW’s other high status people include Bucky Badger and former U.S. President Abraham Lincoln.
Pursue your passions
UW offers countless opportunities to engage in all of your interests. For example, if you enjoy being creepy, the Lakeshore Path at night might be the place for you.
UW super-senior Benny Grop loves the ambience of the trail, created by its darkness and removal from civilization.
“The Lakeshore path is definitely the best place to observe people,” Grop said. “You need a place to successfully sit and stare hard and long at passersby, and sadly not many American college campuses have that these days.”
But the quirks of UW that meet niche interests don’t end there.
Kinesiology major Peck Furman assures that if you enjoy log rolling as a superior form of mobility, then you’re going to fall head over heels for Bascom Hill.
“I came to UW specifically because I love rolling,” Furman said. “If all of campus was one giant hill that I could just lay down and roll to class on, I would be a happy man.”
Learn lots of things
We’re not just talking about classes here. Life skills are just as important, and a good college has both academic opportunities and ways to become a well-rounded person.
UW supplies its students with all sorts of practical skills to guide them through all facets of life, freshman Greta Nougat said.
“I credit UW with my trustworthy ability to day drink,” Nougat said. “It’s really nice to have a coping mechanism for life’s obsoleteness.”
Other valuable non-academic skills you’ll pick up as a UW student include dodging cars as a pedestrian and dealing with the insecurity of everyone else being smarter than you.
Expand your palette
As a proud foodie and Madison native(ish), I can confidently say the UW campus is the best place to become an adventurous eater.
Gordon’s has soooo many options to choose from, all of which manage to reliably guarantee a stomachache.
UW junior Anna White especially loves the exoticness of university dining options.
“Stir fry is amazing,” White said. “I never knew such exotic food could be so tasty. Thinking about UW’s dining hall food makes my mouth water now.”
So there you have it folks. Four reasons that I hope have convinced you to apply to our world-class institution. Have any questions? Contact 1-800-BUCKYSBITCH for more information.
