Incest levels have spiked dramatically in the one month since the HBO series “House of Dragons” aired, prompting the federal government to declare the writer of the show, George R.R Martin, an enemy of the state.
“Oh God, it’s everywhere,” Federal Judge Courtney Mayer said. “House of Dragons has made every Uncle Diddler out there think he’s Matt motherfucking Smith. One man actually said he was inspired by the chemistry between Daemon and Rhaenrya.”
Mayer leaned back in her chair, forcing herself to breath slowly.
“You know what sucks? I had to give him that one. Daemon and Rhaenrya do have good chemistry.” Mayer slammed her gavel on the judge table. “Do you know how painful it is to admit that? God DAMMIT, George!”
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According to all scientific, ethical and common-sense research, incest is fucked up, but apparently good ol’ human decency isn’t enough to stop George from writing about incest, Mayer said.
Technically, writing about incest is fine because of freedom of speech and stuff, Mayer said. But the recent spikes in incest among certain communities has forced the federal government to step in.
“It was fine in ‘Game of Thrones’ because everyone knew it was taboo,” Mayer said. “Its consequences drove the plot and added to the morally ambiguous atmosphere of Westeros. But House of Dragon is different. All the freaks in the U.S. are loving House of Dragons. The Fundamentalist Mormons are lapping it up — and they’re not even allowed to watch TV.”
“I just don’t see how HBO hasn’t shut it down solely based on that,” Mayer said. “Like, anytime a religious group is a big fan of your show, you know you’re doing something wrong. And this is the Fundamentalist Mormons we’re talking about.”
As a result of the federal government declaring George R. R Martin an enemy of the state, the acclaimed author has gone into hiding.
He still periodically posts about the Eagles, though, and has been seen at several comic cons since going into hiding.
“Take a hint, George!” Mayer said, clasping her hands to her face. “You’re an enemy of the state. You’ve got nothing better to do but lock yourself in a shack and finish the 6th book of Game of Thrones. It’s been 11 years and we still don’t know if Jon is alive!”
