I have always been amazed by the amount of crazy sh-t one can find on the Internet. However, it has been a while since anything really made me ask myself: What in the hell are these people thinking?
I have finally found something on the Internet that shocked me (well, at least surprised me): porn on eBay. That’s right; on the website for the company that was promoted so frequently by the crazy talk-show host that shall remain nameless for the purposes of this article.
No, eBay has not added an adult-video section to their website, but there are naked people aplenty on the website — or at least there will be if this so-called “reflectoporn” lives up to its classification as a “craze.”
The term “reflectoporn” was first coined by Internet, an online magazine about (yeah, you guessed it) the Internet and other related topics. We are not talking about watching pornos through the reflection of a mirror, but a new way for exhibitionists (or those that want to try it) to showcase their assets to the millions of users that log onto eBay.
Exhibitionism, simply defined, is the exposure of one’s body parts to an unsuspecting person or persons, usually accompanied by a feeling of arousal for the person that is exhibiting their goods as a result of the shock experienced by the person unawares.
Reflectoporn, simply put, is using eBay’s website to exhibit one’s body to the entire eBay-using world. Supposedly, the first and most famous instance of this recent phenomenon was the image of a not-so-fully-clothed old fat man (penis and all) holding a camera, reflected by the tea kettle that he had posted up for auction.
Was it an accident? I seriously doubt it. Who in their right mind sells a teapot on eBay anyway?
Maybe he just wanted to take advantage of the marketing secret that advertising agents have been using for years: sex sells. Recently, images posted on eBay containing reflections of the auctioneer’s goods have been found on guitars, TVs, silverware and, of course, the infamous teapot.
Surprisingly enough, there are actually websites devoted solely to this new “reflectoporn” fetish. Information found on www.reflectoporn.com states that “the Italians have even translated [the word reflectoporn] to ‘porno-riflesso.'” Google returned too many search results to count, which confirms that the fetish really is getting a lot of attention, whether from interested collectors, potential sellers or just those wondering, “what the hell is reflectoporn?”
After finding the best gallery, coincidentally, on the same aforementioned website, I was finally able to see what all the fuss was about. At first glance, I didn’t even see the naked reflections promised, but at a closer look the sellers were definitely very naked.
Because of the inconspicuousness of a reflection (something most people wouldn’t think to look closely at), the pictures are understandably getting by the content censors at eBay. However, I shudder to think about what I would do if I was trying to buy, say, a pair of used ski-goggles, only to discover the reflection of some naked person in the image. Nor do I know how much I would trust the item, or what may have been done to it.
So, having trouble selling that brass lamp you brought with you to college from Mom and Dad’s house? You know the kind — the polished, gold-ish lamp with the green glass light-shade that gives you a distorted reflection to look at every time you walk by it; the lamp that doesn’t go with anything else you bought at IKEA or Urban Outfitters? Have no fear; reflectoporn on eBay is here. Sex sells just about anything, I guess.
If shocking people gets you off, and you have a lamp to sell, reflectoporn has got to be the way to go. There are millions of potential viewers out there, and on top of that, just imagine the shock your grandmother will receive when she sees you reflected naked in the lamp she gave to your mother when she moved out of the house.
Though I do not endorse actually submitting items with naked reflections on them to eBay, if you are going to do something like that, consider the fact that someone that neither needs nor wants to see your naked ass might be browsing the item you plan on posing with.
For the record: eBay does not support the posting of naked pictures on their website, so if you are going to try it be very, very sneaky …
Put a rubber sock on it — I’m out!
What’s the weirdest, funniest or craziest thing you have found on the Internet while searching for something innocent? Send your stories to sex@badgerherald.com, and they just might end up (anonymously, of course) in this column.