If a friend were to approach you Monday morning and boast, “Hey, dude, I got laid this weekend!”, would you automatically assume that he was referring to some good old-fashioned vagina-to-penis loving? Probably. When talking about sex, it is usually assumed that one is referring to standard vaginal penetration. But what about the many other forms of sex out there?
Having already discussed oral sex, and students’ feelings on whether it qualifies as sex or not (a resounding “yes,” by the way), it is only natural that anal sex would be the next topic for contemplation. Though anal sex is still a relatively controversial form of intercourse in the public’s opinion, the truth remains that there are a lot of people out there doing it every day.
In fact, a study in the Journal of Adolescent Behavior reports that 11 percent of college students surveyed had had anal sex at least once (www.analsexyes.com).
Anal sex is documented as far back as Ancient Greece, when homosexuality among soldiers was encouraged in order to invoke a strong sense of camaraderie. It was a popular belief of the time that a soldier would fight harder to protect his unit if that unit included a lover or lovers.
In fact, ancient Greeks took such great pride in the human body and physical form that public nudity was tolerated and often encouraged. It is only logical that a society so enamored with the body and its sexual power would be completely open to all methods of sexual intercourse, be it heterosexual or homosexual in nature.
Nowadays though, the general public is not so tolerant of “butt-lovin’,” and it is often with shame and discomfort that many will express their hidden desires for anal intercourse. Widely regarded as “dirty” or “perverted,” anal sex has long been stigmatized as the black sheep of the sexual family. High school sex-education classes very rarely provide any information on anal sex, and those who actually have tried it are often scared to admit it.
Why is this? To find an answer, I decided to ask two fellow students about their own personal decisions to try some backdoor nooky.
One student, a female junior on campus, said she recently tried anal because she “wanted to be adventurous.” When asked about the initial experience, the girl said, “I have always been a very experimental person, and I just wanted to try it to see what it was like. Although it didn’t hurt exactly, it was definitely uncomfortable, and I would hesitate to do it again. You just can’t relax, and I felt kind of dirty afterwards.”
When asked whether she had any tips, the girl replied, “Just make sure you use tons of lube, and guys, make sure you comfort the girl afterwards because it might not be something they feel extremely proud of once it’s over.”
On the other side of the spectrum, I asked a male junior about his first foray into the world of anal sex. While it is often assumed that males are the ones initiating anal sex in heterosexual relationships, I was surprised to hear that him it was quite the opposite.
“My girlfriend was actually the one to bring it up first, and I was so surprised that I had to think about it for a week,” he said. “But when she brought it up again a week later, I was all ready to go with the K-Y Jelly and condoms. My girlfriend said it wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t that great for her either; I mean, she didn’t come or anything. I would probably do it again, but she would have to bring it up because I don’t want to force her to do something that isn’t all that pleasurable for her.”
Though first-timers may not experience the full-body orgasm that self-proclaimed “anal devotees” are so fond of, there is definitely a percentage of people, women included, for whom anal sex is even better than vaginal sex.
One such devotee, Tristan Taormino, a well-known writer, sex educator and porn producer, even wrote a whole book about the joys of anal sex. Taormino’s groundbreaking work, “The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women,” is the only book in the past 15 years to fully explore the topic. An avid anal aficionado, Taormino proclaims the anus to be “the great equalizer, because everyone has one.” She even goes so far as to call the anus “the most democratic of our orifices.”
While the sphincter’s political aspirations are debatable, the fact is that for about 11 percent of college students in the United States, anal sex is a very viable option. Some do it to preserve their “real” or vaginal virginity, some do it for the added sensation, and some even do it for the decreased risk of pregnancy.
Clinical matters aside, there are certain precautions that must be taken when engaging in anal sex. 1) Play it safe. When switching back and forth between anus and vagina, be sure to switch the condom as well in order to avoid infection. 2) Always use tons of lube, because unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating, and anal tears are no fun. 3) Start small. Initial anal penetration should never be forced, and it’s always best to start out with fingers and work your way up to avoid injury. 4) Clear the way. While it is not always necessary to use an enema before anal sex, it is best if the receiving partner has a bowel movement before, in order to avoid mess at the end.
With these tips in mind, also remember that anal sex is supposed to be fun. If both partners do not feel comfortable or if it begins to hurt at any time, you should stop immediately.
Although anal sex may not be appealing to everyone, for those of you wanting to experiment, it can certainly open all new doors, literally. But remember, all you Back-Door Betties and Bobbies, just because it’s in the butt doesn’t mean you can’t get an STD, so always remember to brown-bag it before getting kinky!
How do you feel about grooming options for your “nether regions?” Are you a shaver, a trimmer, or all natural? What do you prefer your partners to do? Write me at [email protected] and let me know!
