Bleach

The New York Yankees just bought themselves a World Series.

Apparently they can buy awards as well.

According to ESPN Tuesday night, shortstop Derek Jeter will be receiving the AL Gold Glove for the fourth time in his career.

And just when I thought sabermetrics — aka, looking at baseball accurately — was taking hold of baseball, the coaches and general managers go and name the guy with the fifth best UZR rating in the American League.

Oh, that’s right, Jeter hit the ball well, which is totally a part of the Gold Glove award process.

But if we are looking at the Gold Glove award on a purely defensive basis — I know, quite silly — then the winner must be Texas Rangers shortstop Elvis Andrus who came in second in the AL with a +11.7 UZR rating and played in 145 games, as opposed to the 107 Cesar Izturis saw time in.

Alas, though, Andrus wouldn’t even be considered for the award because he finished the year with 22 errors — largely a factor of him reaching more balls in the infield than any other shortstop. In fact, Andrus put out 56 more batters than Jeter did.

Coaches were already pretty much useless in pro baseball; now they are a hindrance.

Rewarding Jeter once again for being fairly mediocre in the field needs to stop. The Yankees already have a competitive advantage over the field — let’s not give them awards they don’t deserve.

Elvis has come out of hiding, let’s reward him for doing so.

Braun

With the AL Gold Glove winners announced yesterday, it only makes sense to rip on the idiots who snubbed the deserved candidates.

Yeah, Derek Jeter only got the award because his last name is Jeter and he’s the poster boy of the world champions and Placido Polanco once again proved he can field a routine ground ball.

Really, you could make a case for every player who received the award, except for one: Adam Jones.

Seriously, former NFL defensive back Adam “Pacman” Jones made more spectacular defensive plays than his MLB counterpart.

I sort of understand where the voters are coming from on this one. Jones had a breakout season during which he batted .277 with 77 RBIs and 19 home runs.

Well isn’t that just swell.

When he was informed about winning the award, Jones said, “It was a shock to me.”

Really? Well then maybe you didn’t deserve it.

I know it’s difficult to calculate an outfielder’s range, but take a look a Franklin Gutierrez, for example. The Mariners’ center fielder did have three fewer outfield assists than Jones, but he also had nearly 100 more putouts.

Wait. 100? Yeah. Jones is yet another example of the voters’ decision to take a players’ offensive numbers into account when determining defensive prowess.

Jones will probably be a great hitter for years to come, but if I had my choice for defense, Gutierrez would be at the top of my list.