Oh, ole Geriatric Joe,
Where’d all your storied magic go?
Our fierce Penn State foe
Saturday brought nothing but woe.

You scored just three points on “O,”
What happened there, Joe?
Where’d killer Ki-Jana go?
Since he left, the Lions Nittany just blow.

Wasn’t so long ago
You went undefeated, 12 and 0,
Well … it was a decade ago,
What you won that Rose Bowl,
But when you’re 90 that’s close.

Now it’s five seasons straight,
That your Lions whimpered out of the gate.
And it may be already too late
To turn around this sorry team’s fate.

Raz mashed Mills and MikeyRob,
And the guy who took over their job
Looked like a huge knob —
Protected the ball like a slob
(threw quite a few bad lobs
into big Badger mobs.)

But your up-and-coming back,
Hunt, could pick up some slack.
Though your O-line is wack,
allowing sack after sack,
Really just a matter of time,
‘fore they let Tony get jacked.

You this week get the Gophs,
Your boys best not come out oafs.
Cuz if Barber and Maroney
catch you aloaf,
They’ll turn Lions to cream puffs

What happens if you lose?
At 90, does your ego still bruise?
What if you lose
and lose and lose?
Is it enough to just booze?

Or is retirement pending?
Storied career closing in on an ending?
Can’t forever be pretending
When your team isn’t contending.

Who replaces a classic?
A man from the thorasic?
Knowledge of football is basic
But could the Stones replace Mick?
Most proxies won’t stick.

Hall and Bradley assist you,
And seem the most likely two,
PSU boys through and through.
They view what you view
They’d follow your cues,
And your system’d remain true.

There’s another Paterno,
A part of your staff just below.
Could it be your own sow
To replace you quid pro quo?

Or is iconic “Paterno”
A name on the go?
A past forever to lay below
Tears from Lions of woe?

Take my plea, Joe
Please, Please don’t go.
Without you, who crows
About all the calls the refs blow?

If fled is your time
(it was all but sublime)
Let me finish my rhyme
By saying how much our game owes
To the coach of all times.