It’s the return of the grease ball columnist to The Badger Herald, which is to print journalism as the re-election of Marion Barry is to respectable politics. Don’t worry; the old goon as we knew him is dead as a doorknob due to a misunderstanding involving ancient Chinese torture tactics and a full-length mink coat. But he’s been reincarnated, although no improvements have been seen yet; only perpetual deterioration.

I’m mulling over consulting a physician in the near future, as I seem to be having reoccurring delusional flashes. When the clock hits six minutes during a Badger hoops game, Bo Ryan and his flowing mane have a date with a razor and somehow morph into the ghost of Brad Soderberg, a paranormal being of the past that could give Greg Norman a few tips on meltdowns. After blowing numerous leads all season, the Badgers have been able to tie the proverbial knot at the end of their rope and eke out some victories over the likes of Penn State and Purdue.

I do commend Ryan on his work this season, as the Badgers have an outside shot at the NCAA tournament, which when you think about it goes against all rational reason and explanation.

Ryan has been astute enough to recognize that his team is nothing more than a collection of role players who know their place. He has kept this team in a streamlined version of the almighty Bennett-ball style of play, mind-numbing and disciplined, but has not benched players when they feel like being creative within the system. Under Ryan’s system, Kirk Penney has finally been able to break out of a career that was headed for infamy as a one-dimensional outside shooter, and his inside-out, swing offense has been tough to prepare for with the likes of Dave Mader stepping outside the arc. Although Jim O’Brien will probably get the nod as conference Coach of the Year, what Ryan has done has been nothing less than amazing. The crafty coach has been able to concoct a scheme where the sum of the parts doesn’t fail when one over-heating piston blows out. (Paging Mason, Shawn Mason)

But scheming is for the film room, and the scheme is on wobbly legs in the coaches’ box when Wisconsin has a lead late in the second half.

OK, the whole Lynn Greer fiasco is water under the bridge, but allowing Penn State, a band of misfits with wins over Lafayette, Lehigh, Bucknell and Coppin State, to make a run in your own house is poor. Although he deserves the benefit of time and more experienced players, it has been fairly apparent that Ryan has not been the finest in-game coach during the season. When playing with a lead, his defensive strategies become more conservative and the offense gets perpetually sloppier as the game progresses. His use of timeouts has been at best terrible, as teams have been able to sustain runs when they would have easily been avoided through a timeout. And you thought the football team was the only game in town that played not to lose.

Whatever the case, the Badgers’ knack for evaporating in the second half should be cured tonight in Evanston, as they square up against the equally surprising team in Northwestern, which is 11-7. The Badgers should be on cruise control if they can jump out to a lead, as coach Bill Carmody’s slow down style makes the Wildcats a team not built for playing from behind. Look for a close game, but the Badgers are a much better shooting team in the first half.

The key will be putting the clamps on the lanky Tavaras Hardy, who along with Ohio State’s Brian Brown seems to be competing in seventh year of collegiate basketball.
I know reigns of success are cyclical, but is there a bigger debacle on the entire globe than the Big Ten? The notion that the Big Ten is still a power conference this season is a phony as all those fake-and-bake tans that scores of females on our campus acquire every Christmas break. The past four years the conference has placed at least six teams into the Big Dance, with the crowning jewel being 1999 and last year where seven teams had a spot in the brackets.
This year, the Big Ten would have a fat chance getting four teams in, although still not as fat as Luke Recker, who must have a Vin Baker-like addiction to doughnuts since his days at Indiana, where he resembled a stretched out clone of Damon Bailey.
Recker, along with his alarming overrated coach Steve Alford, has been swimming in the tank since reaching as high as No. 5 in the nation in December, and after last night’s blowout in Columbus, Frank “Over-Hyped” Williams and Illinois are looking like a team that could easily become a first-round casualty.